8+3 and still undecided

[Querty123456]

Time is ticking for a decision to be made and I wanted to reach out because it has been hard to talk to friends about this objectively. 4 weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant- a really surprise due to my age and the fact I had been using contraception!

I’m 42, 43 at due date and my partner is 52, neither of us have ever wanted children and we have a together apart relationship, with him living 150 miles away. Sadly no chance of us living together for the foreseeable because he’s the sole carer for his elderly mother. I can’t move to his area because the employment options are terrible there - really rural. I’m a teacher with a really excellent secure job in a challenging inner city secondary school and whilst I could move to his, my chances of getting a good job are low (I’ve been looking for the 6 years we’ve been together). Sadly due to his huge numbers of hours spent caring, he does not earn enough to keep us both. Additionally I have no family locally at all, they all live hundreds of miles away.
So although I have his support emotionally, it wouldn’t be financially or in a day to day sense. I have no savings, because I have spent them on my house and as a consequence I would be looking at returning to work three months after giving birth with the baby in full time nursery. I also have big concerns with my age, concerns that the baby would be a singe child to elderly parents and likely to find themselves thrust into a caring role at an early age themselves.
Sorry for the essay but I wanted to reach out. My head says the whole situation is untenable and unfair for everyone but my heart feels awful to terminate, especially because I have paid for a scan earlier in the week and seen it’s viable.

Added to say, I have already had my telephone appointment with bpas and have received the medication through the post.

43 is not an unusual age to have a baby, your child wouldn't have to have a caring role for you in your later years, you could put provision in place for paid care. Your child doesn't have to be in the same position as your partner.

Do you not get paid mat leave as a teacher? Could you save up for the next 7 months? You would also be entitled to child benefit and potentially other benefits, depending on your salary.

As a teacher you would only need term-time childcare which would reduce your childcare costs. You can do NCT or join other parent groups and build up a local support network. My parents and in-laws lived hundreds of miles away when I had my daughter and they were still able to support, in-person. If you felt you needed it you could in the longer-term move closer to them.

Ultimately though you have a secure job, you own your home, you are in a stable relationship (albeit long-distance). People have children in much more challenging circumstances. The question you need to know the answer to is do you want a child in your life?