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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Unsure whether to have an abortion

4 replies

Jle172325 · 12/07/2021 12:01

Hi, this is my first time posting, I suppose I’m just asking for advice and experiences that may help with my decision. I am nearly 10 weeks pregnant (unplanned) and I’m not sure if I can carry on with the pregnancy. I’ve just come out of a 3 year relationship, I have 3 children already, 2 from a previous that are 8 and 13 and one from my recent relationship who’s nearly 1. I really struggled through my last pregnancy, gained a lot of weight and had a bad flare of my Crohn’s disease after my son was born, (I’m now in remission after successful treatment). The birth was also horrific. A heart defect was also discovered at the end of my last pregnancy, although I have since been told it is normal for my body I could barely breathe at the end of pregnancy and had to have blood thinners in case of blood clots, which I have already started taking again. I was originally going to go ahead with the pregnancy although I’m terrified of how I’ll cope and the toll it will take on my body. Since splitting with my partner I am even more terrified of how I would possibly cope. Also the costs of childcare for 2 little ones just seems impossible! But the more I think of aborting I keep thinking of how il be killing my baby and my other children’s sibling. My ex would be supportive and he is a good man but just has his own problems with mental Heath and drinking quite a lot which has taken its toll over the last year and a half. But then I think that it would be for the best as I can move on easier and get myself fit and healthy again and also work more than just the one day a week I am now. Sorry for the long winded post! Thanks x

OP posts:
PennyDreadful66 · 12/07/2021 12:09

It's entirely your choice and it's your body. You wouldn't be killing a baby, at this point especially it is just a clump of cells, it won't feel any pain and won't know any different, it'll just be gone. You do need to think about your existing children, god forbid anything happens but if you have a high risk pregnancy you could leave them without a mum (this could happen to anyone though) a single parent to four children is doable but extremely hard, at the end of the day it's your decision and whichever one you make you will make it work one way or another, good luck with whatever you decide Flowers

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/07/2021 12:32

Sorry but in your shoes termination is the most responsible thing to do for all involved including you, IMO.

Ziga · 12/07/2021 12:48

Hi OP, sending you all the strength during this time - this is a really difficult decision. I don’t have any real advice just that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

motogogo · 12/07/2021 13:21

Ultimately it's up to you, but in my opinion, your first responsibility is to your current children and yourself, they need you.

3 children is a lot to manage and afford in a relationship, can you really look after 4 children as a single parent?

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