Currently going through a medical abortion

[Welshmamma2021]

Hi everyone, it's my first post!

I've been reading other peoples posts here for a week or two about their medical abortion experiences and they have really helped.. I am currently around five weeks pregnant. My partner left me a day or so after I found out, I suspect for another woman (even though the baby was planned as he really wanted one and it would've been his first) he has disappeared and has been no support since. We were together nine years! I'd begrudgingly decided to have a termination because I cannot stand the thought of having this man in my life for 18 years now especially given he has been many occasions he has been very verbally abusive towards me, and also because I could not afford to do it on my own and give up work etc). I took the first tablet two days ago, and just over an hour ago I inserted the four tablets to bring on the termination.

I am very scared about what today will bring. I am on my own in the house. I know it is 100% the right thing to do so I can move on emotionally as this last week or two has been hell, the feelings of abandonment and fear and anger have been very strong.

I'm very sad for the baby as it was much wanted but I need to move on to a new chapter without this man and this is the only way I can see to do that. He has hurt me beyond belief!
I think I'm just hoping for some support on here today and to feel a little less alone whilst I go through this. I have already had the diarrhoea and the mild cramps I've started so I'm sure things will be on their way soon. I would be ever so thankful for any advice anybody wants to give or just somebody to talk to whilst I go through this. Thank you

So sorry to read your story, but well done on doing what is best for both you and the pregnancy. No-one deserves to have such an awful partner/dad. I haven't been though it personally so can't advise on the physical side of things but didn't want to read and run. I hope it's all over quickly and that you have painkillers if it gets too much. Take care

@Welshmamma2021.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s so very tough.
You sound set in your mind that your are doing the correct thing to move forward.

Today might be tough. It really does vary in how women experience it. I had vomiting, pain in the sense of a lot cramping, bleeding and diarrhoea. I used paracetamol with little effect. I took camp up in my bathroom. Was in and out of the bath - the warm water eased the pain. Sat on the loo with my head between my knees. Paced around a bit.

All in all it took a few hours. I then managed to get into bed. Put a bath towel down incase but I was fine. Fell asleep and felt so much better come the morning.

But this is only my experience - some women have mild symptoms. Please don’t be worried about what I’ve said - I just want you to be equipped incase you are similar.

Please take it easy today. Use this board for support or of course your provider.

Sending you reassurances.xx

Thank you all for your support so far. I'm reading everybody's comment, sorry I'm not commenting back to them all individually as I'm not sure how yet as it's my first time posting. Thank you so much for the advice, the cramping has started and I'm quite nauseous. I'm led in bed watching friends and feeling a little sorry for myself. Can you remember how long it took you to start bleeding? I inserted the tablets 2 1/2 hours ago. I feel so sad for the baby and what could've been but all I want to do right now is move on and erase any tie to this man who has broken my heart.

Oh poor you, your message has really hit home with me, as I had a termination on Monday for the same reasons. My DH of ten years finished the relationship a couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant. I have never felt so hurt or let down in my life.
I had a surgical procedure so can't comment on what you're going through physically. But emotionally I also feel very sad for the baby, though ultimately know it was unfair to bring it into such a turbulent situation, where I fear it would have felt unloved by its dad and may have tipped me over the edge (I have two DCs already).
Once you are out the other side just be very kind and gentle to yourself, knowing you made the only decision you could at the time.

@Belinda61

Oh poor you, your message has really hit home with me, as I had a termination on Monday for the same reasons. My DH of ten years finished the relationship a couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant. I have never felt so hurt or let down in my life. I had a surgical procedure so can't comment on what you're going through physically. But emotionally I also feel very sad for the baby, though ultimately know it was unfair to bring it into such a turbulent situation, where I fear it would have felt unloved by its dad and may have tipped me over the edge (I have two DCs already). Once you are out the other side just be very kind and gentle to yourself, knowing you made the only decision you could at the time.

Thank you! And I'm so sorry you have a similar situation to contend with. I'm not sure if it even call these people men. Us women are definitely the stronger sex. Everything is intensifier on right now so I'm very close to passing the baby I think. I will feel a lot of sadness but I will also be relieved. Did your husband show any sympathy towards your situation after leaving? I really hope you are feeling okay emotionally, it's really nice to know somebody else in the same situation, I felt so alone with it xx

Sending hugs, it’s quite a horrible process physically but warm baths/ hot water bottle & pain meds help - I took paracetamol & ibruprofen alternately every two hours through the worst part. It took about 4-5 hours to kick off for me, the waiting was awful 😞 Hang on in there & be kind to yourself x

It took nearly 4 hours before the bleeding started. Think it usually would be a shorter. I cramped a lot before that though. Almost in waves.

Just take it easy. Stay home and be kind you yourself.xx

@sparklyblue81

Sending hugs, it’s quite a horrible process physically but warm baths/ hot water bottle & pain meds help - I took paracetamol & ibruprofen alternately every two hours through the worst part. It took about 4-5 hours to kick off for me, the waiting was awful 😞 Hang on in there & be kind to yourself x

Thank you for the advice and caring comment. It's been exactly 4 hours since I took the first four tablets, I've just taken the other two as advised. I definitely have light contractions coming in waves, just no blood yet. I also have pain in my back. I'm just so anxious to get this over with. Thank you for the support. Xx

@ED81

It took nearly 4 hours before the bleeding started. Think it usually would be a shorter. I cramped a lot before that though. Almost in waves.

Just take it easy. Stay home and be kind you yourself.xx

It's been exactly 4 hours for me now. The pain is gradually getting worse so hopefully things will start to move soon. Thank you for taking the time to come and comment. It's making things a little easier all round xx

How are you doing OP? Hope you’re coping OK.

@WiseUpJanetWeiss

How are you doing OP? Hope you’re coping OK.

Hi, The pain is still intensifying but still no bleeding. It's been five hours now and I'm starting to worry a little. I purposely started the process early this morning so it would be done by the time my son arrived home from school. He is due home just after 3 pm and I'm not getting anywhere yet :( xx

Gosh I am sorry to hear that. I have no insight to offer you at all but just didn’t want you to be all alone. Any progress now? Can anyone else look after DS for you. X

@WiseUpJanetWeiss

Gosh I am sorry to hear that. I have no insight to offer you at all but just didn’t want you to be all alone. Any progress now? Can anyone else look after DS for you. X

Thank you. I started bleeding at 12:30. It's just picking up slightly now. Nowhere near done yet though, I definitely haven't passed the baby yet. No not really but he is nearly 14 so I should be able to hide away in my room for a bit xx

Oh at 14 he will barely notice you anyway!

Sorry I have been a long time getting back to the thread - am at work. Hopefully by now you’re making good progress. Are you getting any support from friends or anywhere else?

@WiseUpJanetWeiss

Oh at 14 he will barely notice you anyway!

Sorry I have been a long time getting back to the thread - am at work. Hopefully by now you’re making good progress. Are you getting any support from friends or anywhere else?

The bleeding is slowly picking up but still not amounting to much. The pain in my back is horrendous now so hopefully that means it's really kicking in. I'm really starting to worry it won't be successful. It's been over 8 hours 😢 xx

Oh you poor thing. I hope someone who knows about these things can give you some better support. Can you ring the clinic and ask them for advice?

I’m sorry it’s been such a long day for you.

It might be because you are so early in the pregnancy there isn’t much blood etc. I’d check in with your provider to get their opinion.
I hope you get a good sleep tonight. Take it easy over the weekend. It really can feel like an ordeal.xx