Has anyone had an abortion and not told their partner?

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I am 6 weeks pregnant, and I am suffering so badly with how rubbish I feel. I am on sickness medication, but I have to take 8 tablets just to get through the day.

I am struggling with housework; I am studying in the evenings and I have 7 weeks left before everything has to be submitted. We currently rent a 1-bedroom flat, with barely any space for the two of us. We are currently gathering our documents for our mortgage in principle to begin house viewing but all suitable houses are £30k more now due to the current housing market.

I’ve just checked, and I am 1 month shy of qualifying for enhanced maternity pay, SMP would not even cover my share of the bills. I have asked my manager to waive it, but rightly so he declined. I don’t have many savings.

In my head, I know I need to wait at least until we are settled in a house and I qualify for enhanced pay. It would help out enormously.

But DP would be upset, he would be thinking with his heart and would make it even more difficult. I feel ashamed for even writing this, but I really need some advice.

I should make it clear - DP knows I am pregnant, i've had constant spotting though.

I get your reasons and ultimately the choice is yours.

However he knows you're pregnant. So unless you lie and say you had a miscarriage he will know you've had an abortion if you don't go through with it.

Can you really sell that lie to your DH? I couldn't.

Also, abortion is pretty tough emotionally and adding secrets and lies into the mix will make it extremely difficult to deal with xx

I have made a pro and cons list, I can't think of one reason which would be a 'pro'.

I'm so fed up of feeling crap. I've spoken to DP about my feelings and he said he would support me either way, so that's a big help.

I am only 25. I don't feel ready for this yet.

It's good that your DP will support you. If you're not ready you're not ready, no shame in that.

If you’re not ready, and you can’t think of a single pro, it sounds like you’ve made up your mind - and if he’ll support you either way; you won’t need to lie to him; which will make it an easier decision.

There’s no shame in not being ready. All the best to you

I don't know how it works now but I had my medical folder sent home with me when I was pregnant which clearly documented my miscarriage and pregnancy with DD1.

If you keep this from him he may well find out at a later date if he sees your file. My past history was also mentioned at booking appointment which he was present at.

If he has said he will support you either way then let him support you? Do you think he'll change his mind?

Don’t lie to your partner - if never ends well.
You need more support - does he know how much you are struggling?
Speak to your midwife and get more help.
Babies don’t have to be expensive and your DP sounds like he wants to help you.