Help! 4th pregnancy after csection trauma.. unsure of what to do

[DEP7616]

Just found out I am pregnant for the 4th time. My 3 children aged 9,7,1 all csections. First two fine no problems last one I lost a lot of blood, needed a transfusion and was advised not to have anymore.. which I wasnt planning on doing.
Just found out I am pregnant it’s a complete and utter shock and I’m so torn on what to do!?
Has anyone got any positive experiences on a 4th csection after complications? Partner is keen for me to have an abortion and I know my family will not be happy either, but I’m just so so torn.
I can’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do!
I was due my second COVID jab last week but found out I was pregnant I still attended and spoke to someone there who turns out is a retired head of obs and gyne, he was lovely and once I said I was thinking of termination and why he actually completely spun my head and told me that had he still be practicing medicine in his opinion he would have had a experienced full team ready for csection and bloods crossed and matched ready just incase and I’d be monitored closely throughout the whole pregnancy and that actually it might not be as bad as I think but obviously the risks are still there. He took my details and said he would contact the senior consultant at my hospital and ask he called me and discussed my options. I still haven’t heard yet and I feel like time is running out, I’m around 5 weeks and if I decide to terminate I don’t want to leave it much later! I’ve got carried away with google and the fear of dying in theatre leaving my children without their mum is so terrifying!
Positive or negative experiences welcomed!

I'm not sure any anecdata on here can compare to you having a chat with a retired head of ops and gynae.

The good thing about surgery is that it's planned and given you are high risk they will know and prepare accordingly, if you wanted to continue, as the Dr indicated. The most right situation probably is you going into labour before your planned section but (a) they probably deal with a lot worse and (b) of they think that would be dangerous they would do an early section I'm sure.

The bigger question is whether you want the baby.

@Babyboomtastic thanks for the reply!
I mean had I had had my children naturally without any complications I would continue with the pregnancy without a doubt.
I’m so scared about how my family will react and what my partner would say if I was to even suggest continuing the pregnancy.
Part of me is desperate to keep the baby and the thought of going through with an abortion brings me to tears but on the other side the thought of something terrible happening and leaving my children without a mum also brings me to tears.
This is the hardest decision I have ever faced and I have no one to talk to about it.

I think you need to get medical advice from a consultant asap. 4 c sections puts you under the care of a consultant never mind the events of the last one.

It's a horrible choice, they will talk to you about the risks to you and your unborn child. They will also tell you whether given previous history you are more at risk of placental abruption. You don't say how old you are, what would the impact of a hysterectomy on you 10+yrs early? My understanding is that is the last resort if they can't control the bleeding.

Many pro choice people don't envisage having to make those choices for themselves. I can't imagine how distraught you are right now but I think you are right to put your 3 children first. Talk to a consultant.

Hi so sorry you are going through this sorry - I don't have any ierdonak experience to add except that I've also had 3 sections and am a meaner of c-section support uk group on Facebook I'd really recommend you join - so many ladies have had 4th sections with and without complications and they are great at answering questions or helping you prep questions you might want to ask your consultant. I'd also recommend either contacting your GP or your previous consultant and ask for an urgent birth debrief, they can go through your old notes with you and talk about any risk with another sections and any possible steps they'd take to address these risks. I think you need all the info & facts before you make your decision, rather than focusing on the what ifs.

Sorry for all the typos... trying to type one handed with csection baby number 3 asleep and crushing one arm

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams thanks for the reply!
I am 27, I honestly haven’t even considered the long term effects of having a hysterectomy so early?! Definitely it’s the last resort I was lucky last time they didn’t give me one. I’m driving myself crazy can’t stop thinking about what to do! How do I go about contacting a consultant? Would I not need to be referred by a midwife or gp? I have managed to get a gp telephone appointment on 26th may and it’s with the the one gp who is well known for her awful rudeness (I’ve experienced a few times myself) so already know how that phone call is going to go!

@tumbledryerfault thank you for your reply! I have recently become a member today and have spent most of the day searching through looking for advice on there too. As expected many great positive experiences and sadly some not so positive. I’m definitely going to see what my gp says next week and if she can refer me to speak to a consultant but that could take weeks too.