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Pregnancy choices

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Struggling with family dynamics

2 replies

disconnecteddrifter · 21/04/2021 19:28

I had an abortion 2 weeks ago. My partner didn't pressurise me into it but did point out that he would prefer to not have a child due to money, retirement and the ability to enjoy kid free time. We are a blended family so have 2-3 nights without kids.
One of the big factors in my decision was the fact that his 10 year old daughter is very needy. She has to control all situations including needing him to sleep with her at nigjt. Now she refuses to stay overnight unless he sleeps with her which to be honest is a relief for her two younger siblings who have been sidelined in all of this.
Tonight he has just said that he wants his daughter to stay on separate nights to his other kids. I'm so devastated. I donr know if I am being unreasonable but I feel like I made a decision based on the needs of his daughter and the needs of our relationship ie kid free time. I massively regret the abortion and was hysterical whilst in the clinic but no matter what I do I can't take that back. But he's taking back the benefit of kid free time and letting his ex and daughter decide my life. I'm having counselling and doctors appointments via phone due to covid on the nights without the kids so they don't have to witness my devastation and really need that time to try and get well (I'm suicidal). I just feel lied to and guilt tripped about his daughter -its her home too, its the only way she will sleep over etc. All these plans made with his ex and I just want to go to sleep and not habe to wake up.

OP posts:
Silverfly · 21/04/2021 20:18

Oh OP this is awful. I think you have to put your foot down about having his daughter on separate nights to his other kids. I hope the counselling is helping and you start feeling better soon Flowers

disconnecteddrifter · 21/04/2021 20:39

I've said it doesn't work for me and that I'd just had an abortion for these reasons. Now we are not talking. I am so devastated anyway but this on top has pushed me over the edge. I'm trying to think about how I can leave- I'm so unwell I can't really even brush my teeth at the moment let alone find somewhere to live but I feel like I am in desperation in terms of my life and well-being

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