Post abortion

[ED81]

Hi,
I realise this is very sensitive and it’s not everyone will wish to read. No offence is meant at all to anyone.
I had a medical termination 2 weeks ago. I was having a planned pregnancy but it felt so wrong. I had counselling and made the choice to terminate. I don’t agree with what I did but it was the right choice and I now feel lighter and brighter again.
However, I’m not sure what is best to do moving forward. I never thought it a million years I’d not have children and now it seems this will be the case.
I had planned the pregnancy and as soon as I found out I was pregnant I was sick to my stomach about it and didn’t want to continue with the pregnancy. Has this occurred with anyone else?!

Being a woman is so very difficult sometimes.

Hi OP, we're going to move your thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic as we think that's the best place for it. Hopefully some Mumsnetters will be along soon.

You have all my sympathy OP, sounds like you made a horribly difficult decision. I hope you recover ASAP and manage to move forward happily. None of what you've been through sounds easy.

And I agree being a woman is difficult, women face these kind of situations in a visceral way that doesn't really touch most men. Not to say that men don't struggle with these decisions, I'm sure they do. But not in their bodies the way we are forced to.

The idea of a child is incredibly different to the reality and I think we sometime just know when properly faced with it that it's simply not what is right for us in that particular time and situation. I always thought it would be great to be pregnant no matter what the situation but when it happened with my ex the reality hit me like a ton of bricks instantly and I terminated. Never ever regretted it and have a beautiful big family now. In hindsight it would have destroyed my life.

What age are you and what was your original plan? Did you have IVF? Why were you planning to be a single parent? If you explain a bit more you might get some advice. It sounds like you really do want something here but feel unable to see how to do it a way that works for you.

Thank you @DawnMumsnet. Silly me. I don’t know how to post properly.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying. I’m 39 and married. No children. Pregnancy was planned but I still terminated. It was a joint decision but not something I thought I’d ever do. But here I am! Unsure of the way forward.

Some women simply don’t want to have children and that’s ok. Perhaps I fall into this camp without having realised that this was the case.

This makes me a bit sad. I want to want children.

@ED81 I recommend you speak to a counsellor asap. I think there must be a lot going on in your mind and feelings to be in this situation. You certainly haven't done anything wrong but I think you need someone to help you sort out what you do want and feel asap.

Thanks @WishingHopingThinkingPraying. 🙂I’ve done this. Had some private sessions. I do feel it was the right choice to terminate. I just don’t know what to do now....
Is this it for me and my husband in the sense we are childfree through choice. I think it might be....
The counsellor said to draw on the thoughts I had about not wanting to continue with the pregnancy. And that feeling sad is fine. I need to validate that.