Abortion - BPAS

[Flowergirl23]

Hey. This is my first post on mumsnet
I found out I’m around 6 weeks pregnant last weekend. I’m 23 and really not ready (circumstantial) to be a mum just yet.

I want to be a mum in the future but we’ve just started saving for our house. I want to be settled and be really excited/ready for a child before that time comes so I made the decision to terminate my pregnancy.

I absolutely love kids and love the thought of having my own one day but every Avenue in my head I’ve gone down doesn’t feel right with what my life and what it’s like at the moment. I want to give my child my all and at the moment I can’t. We have more growing up to do first I’m 23.

So now that back story is out there, I’m due to have my BPAS consultation/ medical over the phone tomorrow morning. I feel as though this whole process is so long and this waiting game has been the hardest part for me. I’m an over thinker anyway so it’s been very overwhelming! I went through to BPAS straight away, does anyone have any experiences with these and the process that happens?

Thanks in advance x

Hi. I had a termination through BPAS a week ago so I can share my experience if that would helpful. I’m 40 in a few weeks and already have 3 dc with my husband. My youngest dc is 10 years old and my eldest is 19 so starting all over again was just not an option for us. Financially and emotionally we just didn’t couldn’t have coped with another child. Also, where we live we just about have enough space for us 5 let and it would mean having to sell up and move which isn’t really an option right now.

Anyway I contacted bpas the end of January. I took one of those pregnancy tests that estimate how far along you are and it said 3 weeks. You always add on an extra 2 weeks so I was around 5 weeks along. I contacted BPAS a couple days later and had a telephone consultation on the 12th of Feb. The woman I spoke to was lovely and I felt no judgment what so ever. She wanted me to go for a scan first to check how far a along I was and I had to wait 2 weeks as there were no other appointments. Those two weeks felt like two months. I then went for my scan and face to face appointment. The nurses were lovely and put me at ease. I had to have an internal scan which was ok just a little uncomfortable. The cut off for a medical abortion were you take the pills at home was 10 weeks and I was measuring at 10 weeks and 1 day. So I was told it would have to be a surgical procedure. I was in shock and not prepared for that at all and I as slightly angry that due to the delay of having a scan which I didn’t feel I needed meant I couldn’t do it at home.

I then had to wait until the 6th of March for the procedure which felt like a lifetime wait. The day before I had to take a tablet to prepare my cervix followed by antibiotics and anti sickness tablets in the evening. The next day I arrived at the clinic for 7.45am. I had a final consult with the nurse was given paracetamol and went back to the waiting room were I waited for around an hour. I was then called to theatre. I changed into a gown was led to theatre and the procedure was done in around 10 minutes. It was the most emotional experience I’d ever experienced and I cried as it was doing done but i and two nurses either side of me who were amazing and very reassuring. After the procedure I had my blood pressure and oxygen levels check whilst in the recovery room. I was then able to leave around an hour and a half later. My husband came to collect me and by the time we got home half an hour later I’d started to bleed.

The bleeding on the whole has been minimal. I was very numb the rest of the day and that evening but come the next day I was very weepy. I knew it was the right decision so wasn’t expecting to feel like I did but it’s still an emotional experience from start to finish. Almost a week later I’m still bleeding very lightly but I feel a lot better. Y body feels recovered as I made sure I rested and my husband took a few days off work to make sure I could. I think that really helped my recovery. Anyway I hope you’re ok and you feel reassured that things will be ok because they will be in time. Just take time to process things and don’t be hard on yourself like I was as it’s a difficult situation. Good luck x

Hi I wanted to share my story with BPAS. I had a phone call from a nurse 1 week after enquiring then she booked me in for a scan two weeks after that. She also provisionally booked me in for my abortion surgery which would be 4 weeks after my initial inquiry.

At my scan I turned up nervous but honestly the nurse was so lovely and informative and supportive that I almost felt at ease. She told be I was 10 weeks and 4 days which meant I just missed the tablets and had to have vaccine aspiration procedure. I had my scan on Wednesday and when she checked the date on her computer there was a spare spot on the Friday of that week so she bought my appointment forward.

I had to take a tablet to loser my cervix 24hours before my procedure & I had to take anti biotics the night before to stop infection. The nurse also told me to take 800g of ibuprofen 2 hours before my procedure. She wrote everything on the boxes too.

I did all this and turned to at the clinic. I was scared and alone as I had a local a not general. My first midwife was so calm and kind she explained everything to me , took my blood pressure and a prick test to see what my blood type was. She reassured me and asked me if I was sure of my choice. This took 15 mins and I was called almost automatically.

She then took me down to the surgery where she told me to take my bottom half off and put on an apron and hospital slippers. Then I waited 10 minutes until I was called in. While I was waiting I could hear and see women who had just had an abortion and the nurses looking after them were so nice. Offering cups of tea and reassurance.

I was then called into surgery and the Dr confirmed my details and I was set. The mid wife’s told me to put my legs in stirrups and the dr proceeded almost immediately. He talked me through what was happening but honestly I was a wreck like the realisation just hit me. The midwifes held my hand while the dr suctioned the baby out. This took about 7 pumps in total and was reasonably painful. It felt like I just wanted to curl up and hold my stomach, the midwifes kept reassuring me and were so lovely in the room at one point I looked at one crying and she said ‘you’re doing so well sweetheart’ and I genuinely felt as if my mum was in the room. The procedure only took 5 minutes tops and they popped some hospital undies on for me with a pad.

After a few minutes they helped me up and took me out to sit with the other girls that had abortions. They offered me biscuits, tea and water. The pain was like huge cramps for about 10 minutes then it settled dramatically. Since then it has only been very light cramps really.

After 30 minutes the nurse asked me to go to the bathroom and to check my flow. I did this but there was hardly anything there. When I came out she asked me to compare how much blood on a graph and mine was the least on there.

After that I was free to go. I got dressed and the midwife discharged me. She spoke to me my feelings and offered support / answered questions.

I left and drove my self home. It felt like nothing had happened.

I was actually only in the clinic 55 minutes in total.

I had a bad experience but it was some years ago. The one thing I'd recommend is thorough counselling and consideration of the outcomes before you do this. Ideally, you need to be certain you'll be comfortable with this decision for the rest of your life.

I can only give experience of 30 years ago pre medical abortions so I had surgery.

I was 24 and like you, I definitely wanted children, but not then and not with that boyfriend. The relationship was already waning.

I went through BPAS and everything was very straightforward. I needed a friend to come home with me on the bus but that was it.

Thirty years later I have 2 lovely DC with a fantastic husband.

I have never regretted the abortion. I am glad that I didn't have to maintain a relationship with the ex for the rest of my life.