Can't make my mind up

[ker89]

One minute I think yes I want this baby.. next I think no it's for the best to get rid.

I am 4/5 weeks, already have a 1 year old. This pregnancy was very much unplanned for, I have just started a new job so won't qualify for statutory maternity pay. We only have a small 2 bed house, money is going to be so tight. It's all screaming STRESS and that now really is an awful time and maybe it's best for us as a family to not continue with the pregnancy. But I can't help thinking, that's our little baby.. my daughters sibling.
Partner is supportive either way but if it was up to him, I know he'd choose to terminate.
I really don't know what the right thing to do is.
I'm worried about abortion complications and living with regret but also worried about dealing with a very stressful pregnancy and money worries.
Does anyone have helpful advice ?

Anyone x

Hi @ker89,

I was in the same boat as you a few weeks ago (without the 1yo!) but with the added complication of an unstable relationship and a strong possibility I would be raising the baby alone at the end of the day along with 2 teenagers. My pregnancy was also unplanned and a MASSIVE shock and I was made redundant in Oct. On paper a termination was the best option and that's what the dad felt was best (but said he'd support me either way). On paper I had to agree but like you I kept thinking 'but that's my baby' and I was already very attached. The longer it went on the more I wanted the baby. In the end, still very torn but feeling time pressured, I made the decision to take the tablets and regretted it instantly :(. I also had a tough time with the home termination. I'm now struggling with lots of things/feelings both emotionally and physically and know I only have myself to blame.
Of course this is only my personal experience, there are lots of women on here who have been in the same situation, had their terminations (with no problems) and continue with their lives knowing they've made the right decision for themselves and their families. It's such a personal choice, no-one can tell you what the best is for you, only you can decide that.
It's an awful situation to be in and a heart-rending decision to make, my heart goes out to you.
I wish you all the best whatever you decide to do x

Op if you’re saying that one minute you do want this baby then i think you’d be filled with regret if you terminated. If you’d said you didn’t want this baby but was worried about regret then that would be a bit different

@Inthedark2 thank you for your reply, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. That's one of my biggest fears is having to live with regret and what have I done! It's hard because we both want a 2nd child, just not now. We've just reached a very comfortable place in our lives and this really will throw everything off.
I think because my partner is so stressed about it and would rather terminate, that's what's pushing my mind that way. And I don't want to go through it just for him.
I'm speaking to a nurse next week so I hope that will make my mind a bit clearer.
Hope you are doing a bit better now x

Sorry youre going through this:( would you be alignment formaternity allowance? Just wondering if so would that take some financial stress away from your decision? X