Medical abortion tablets arrived today...

[itsatrapnextdoor]

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and sat looking at the medical abortion kit that arrived in the post this morning from Marie stopes.
I really did want another baby (DS is 4) but as soon as I found out I was pregnant something changed. I've been an anxious mess and have had to leave work, I can't leave the house. I have emetophobia and I can't handle the nausea. DP said he wanted it but the way I've been he now doesn't think he (or we) would cope. We have so many arguments anyway I don't even know why we tried.
I wanted a surgical but the nearest place due to COVID was 3 hours away.

1. Has anyone has an abortion at home at 8 week? How was it?

1. Should I contact my GP?

1. Has anyone wanted to get pregnant then changed their mind once it happened?

Thank you. Could just do with some support right now.

@itsatrapnextdoor

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and sat looking at the medical abortion kit that arrived in the post this morning from Marie stopes. I really did want another baby (DS is 4) but as soon as I found out I was pregnant something changed. I've been an anxious mess and have had to leave work, I can't leave the house. I have emetophobia and I can't handle the nausea. DP said he wanted it but the way I've been he now doesn't think he (or we) would cope. We have so many arguments anyway I don't even know why we tried. I wanted a surgical but the nearest place due to COVID was 3 hours away.

1. Has anyone has an abortion at home at 8 week? How was it?

1. Should I contact my GP?

1. Has anyone wanted to get pregnant then changed their mind once it happened?

Thank you. Could just do with some support right now.

Anyone?

Reading your post, it sounds like ypu could do with first having a conversation with your GP about how you are feeling. Pre-natal depression is a very real thing, and you might regret your abortion if it was a wanted pregnancy. I am pro choice by the way.

Hello, I couldn't not reply but I have not been in your situation. I've had an abortion but for medical reasons.

You sound very conflicted and I think it would be beneficial to talk to someone. The clinic should offer counselling services but if not you should definitely speak to your GP to see if they have a support service you can access.

I am also pro choice, but you sound like you’re still not sure. You maybe need to speak to your gp or go back to Marie Stopes for a non biased chat about how you are feeling at the moment?

Thank you all. I wouldn't say I'm 100%.. I'm probably 70% towards terminating. But I know I need to decide soon, being 8 weeks.
I've stopped my sertraline tablets as I seemed to start feeling more panicky after I had taken them so maybe that's not helping.
I just don't know if I'm in the right frame of mind mentally to be able to handle a pregnancy and all it brings. I'm eating a lot less as I feel so sick, I barely pay my son any attention, I'm just an anxious mess. Abortion just seems like the only way out of this state of mind I suppose.
I might ring my GP and have an honest chat with her.

I think that being only 70% sure isn’t enough to take the tablets... please do have a thorough talk to your gp, perhaps a non-judgemental friend and your dp. You are almost through the nausea element hopefully but this could be your anxiety talking

70% isn't enough, not for something like this (I'm pro choice btw) but the regret some women have after not being sure is absolutely life destroying. Talk to your gp, take a little more time to yourself to figure this out a bit more. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I hope you figure out what's best for you

Oh and there are some pregnancy safe anti anxiety and antidepressants that might help you, stopping sertraline is a task in itself and feeling incredibly unwell and anxious is common when coming off them x

Whatever decision you make will be the right one. However, you need to be certain of your choice. You still have a little time.

@TheGirlWhoLived

I think that being only 70% sure isn’t enough to take the tablets... please do have a thorough talk to your gp, perhaps a non-judgemental friend and your dp. You are almost through the nausea element hopefully but this could be your anxiety talking

When would the nausea finish? The midwife said it can last to 18 weeks and if it turns to vomiting I just can't handle it. DP is no support at all and it's just making me think how bad our relationship is, along with a highly demanding first child. I keep swinging from one decision to the next.

The nausea and vomiting could potentially last the whole pregnancy (sorry). There is medication you can be prescribed to help counteract it though.

@Wannabecheerleader

The nausea and vomiting could potentially last the whole pregnancy (sorry). There is medication you can be prescribed to help counteract it though.

I'd rather not go ahead with a pregnancy than have 9 months of it

You went ahead with your first pregnancy, despite knowing you could be very sick - can I ask what changed with this one? If you weren't Particularly sick the first time you may not be again.
I'm completely pro choice, and I'm not trying to deter you at all - I'm just not sure having read the thread it's a deciding factor in whether you go ahead with the pregnancy.

Ahh god, talk to your GP about the Sertraline/anxiety please, hopefully there's an alternative that doesn't have crap side effects for you. I know from experience that coming off sertraline was a really wobbly time and I had to do it very slowly.

Also from my two pregnancies; first one I was nauseous at least till 16 weeks, second one i was nauseous on and off, there was a break around 8-10 weeks and then back and then it probably went again for the most part after 14 weeks but it was patchy and mostly just when I was getting hungry. Unpleasant but manageable, never thrown up because of pregnancy. everyone is different but there are drugs to help manage and id hope an Emetophobe would get a bit more leeway with them, again speak to your GP

I was in your shoes 1 year ago. I booked a surgical termination with marie stopes, went along to my first appointment and was booked in the following week. My DD1 was only 8 months, was a very challenging baby and covid had just hit the UK. I was an anxious mess, I was around 80% sure I wanted the termination. But I didn't go through with it in the end. I did struggle to bond with my bump and had some dark thoughts. I probably should have sought help but with Covid, lockdown 1 and all the uncertainty I kept it to myself. i cried most days during my pregnancy. DD2 came along and is the perfect baby, content, calm and easy going. It was like she knew I needed her to be...I found the first 6 weeks adjusting to two hell, it took a huge toll on ke and DH's relationship and at the start of lockdown 3 I did contact the GP who prescribed ADs. She's 4 months now and in a great routine, sleeping well and bonding with her big sister. I feel much more able to cope and happy with life but it wasn't an easy year by any means. I'm not really sure what my advice is to you but wanted to share my story to know you're not alone. I would seek some help if you can before you make your decision x

@imalmostthere

You went ahead with your first pregnancy, despite knowing you could be very sick - can I ask what changed with this one? If you weren't Particularly sick the first time you may not be again. I'm completely pro choice, and I'm not trying to deter you at all - I'm just not sure having read the thread it's a deciding factor in whether you go ahead with the pregnancy.

I didn't feel as sick with my first, only very mildly for a short period. I was also working full time and had several friends pregnant at the same time. I think this time round I've just got too much time with my own thoughts and feel so much more anxiety x

It sounds like you haven't really made your mind up I had to have a medical one on august for various reasons it was not a pleasant experience please be 100 percent sure before doin this x

@Frazzled99

I was in your shoes 1 year ago. I booked a surgical termination with marie stopes, went along to my first appointment and was booked in the following week. My DD1 was only 8 months, was a very challenging baby and covid had just hit the UK. I was an anxious mess, I was around 80% sure I wanted the termination. But I didn't go through with it in the end. I did struggle to bond with my bump and had some dark thoughts. I probably should have sought help but with Covid, lockdown 1 and all the uncertainty I kept it to myself. i cried most days during my pregnancy. DD2 came along and is the perfect baby, content, calm and easy going. It was like she knew I needed her to be...I found the first 6 weeks adjusting to two hell, it took a huge toll on ke and DH's relationship and at the start of lockdown 3 I did contact the GP who prescribed ADs. She's 4 months now and in a great routine, sleeping well and bonding with her big sister. I feel much more able to cope and happy with life but it wasn't an easy year by any means. I'm not really sure what my advice is to you but wanted to share my story to know you're not alone. I would seek some help if you can before you make your decision x

Thank you for sharing. It's such a difficult position to be in isn't it. I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end

Regardless of how you decide to proceed with your pregnancy, I think you need to speak to your Gp regarding your MH.

Hi,

Just wanted to give you some support, I had a termination when my first child was 9 months old. I made the decision so that I could be more present to her whilst she was still a baby. Although making the decision was agony and I really struggled with it. However I was able to be the parent I wanted to be to my existing child and have had a few pangs of what ifs etc which I'm guessing is normal. 3 years later I had my son and he is just perfect, he wouldn't be here had I not made that decision and now that my daughter is a bit older I am able to give him the attention he deserves. Which ever way you choose will be the right way for you. Xx

How long were you on Setraline for? If you went cold turkey on them, it could definitely increase your nausea symptoms.

If it helps, I felt really queasy when pg with dd for about 13 weeks, but I only actually threw up once - that once being during an exam I was very worried about (far ore than the other 3 that week) after having eaten some pork chops that smelled a bit off the night before (so either the anxiety over the exam or food poisoning were likely the cause of it). And it was only 1 episode that single day (not even multiple episodes that day, literally just once).

You don't need to be 100% but you need to be more sure that an abortion is not the worse choice for you.
If you call MSI and ask for counselling they will book you an appointment, you can also say how you are feeling and you are struggling and ask to go on the DNA list.
I would say this as I work in this field that for now do nothing today until you have spoken to someone who can help you work through this, professional or friend.

@NarelleP77

How long were you on Setraline for? If you went cold turkey on them, it could definitely increase your nausea symptoms.

I was on it for about 2ish years x