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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Grieving after abortion

4 replies

CocoLady · 07/02/2021 19:27

Hello everyone I had a medical abortion a month ago at 7 weeks, it failed the first time I took tabs and didn't pass at all so had to go through all the meds, excruciating pain and passing of the pregnancy a week later :(
We had to abort due to medical reasons and I feel if it wasn't a risk to me or baby(which is was, big risk) then we would have kept baby and ever since I feel I'm grieving I've been so ill with my body aches pains chest infections still bleeding and passing clots a month later etc I feel sad 😞 n like I want to try again but know it's too soon!
Someone commented to me' why I feel so sad like I feel like I don't see why you should when u got rid'

I still feel sad even though we had abortion really felt we had no choice so still consider it a lost baby. I just don't think other people see it that way x

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LouiseTrees · 07/02/2021 20:41

If it was for a medical reason and the baby would not have had a good quality of life then yes it very much is a loss and no different to a miscarriage. You should try to go through counselling if you can access it. It is very much too soon to try again, your body needs time to heal. You need time to grieve the loss not try to replace one baby with another. You are entitled to feel how you feel.

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partyatthepalace · 07/02/2021 20:51

Of course you will be grieving OP - a medical abortion is a loss like a miscarriage or a stillbirth.

Give yourself time for this, get someone to talk to, and perhaps prepare a short explanation for anyone who doesn’t understand why you might be grieving (if you feel that’s helpful).

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CocoLady · 08/02/2021 08:14

Thanks both 🌸

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AnnaliseH · 08/02/2021 22:02

@CocoLady, so sorry to hear about your experience. Please don't allow people's judgement get to you if you do come across it. A loss is a loss. And I really empathise about wishing to be pregnant again.

Be kind to yourself...

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