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Pregnancy choices

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Original poster

Thinking of having an abortion..

9 replies

lostandconfuseddaily · 07/02/2021 08:49

I'm maybe in a slightly unusual position, as this baby was planned and wanted. I'm almost 6 weeks.
But since finding out my mental health (which wasn't great anyway) has taken a nosedive. I have been feeling sick which I'm phobic about and have just been having panic attacks all day. I can't be attentive to my 4 year old.
My partner couldn't be any less supportive. He just tells me to stop ruining what should be a happy time, and now is saying we probably would be better to just split up. He's not even so much as ran me a bath or offered to look after DS, I had a small bleed the other day and all he said was "looks like you might be getting what you wanted" and never even asked how I was feeling or if the bleeding had continued. On the surface we have a house, been together a long time, have a 4 year old - it seems ideal.
But I just don't think our relationship is strong enough to handle how this is going to affect me mentally or even having another baby.
What do you think?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/02/2021 08:50

Have you spoken to those who are looking after your MH?

CodenameVillanelle · 07/02/2021 08:51

Your relationship sounds pretty awful. Could you cope being a single parent of two?

Original poster
lostandconfuseddaily · 07/02/2021 08:54

@Wolfiefan

Have you spoken to those who are looking after your MH?
Yes and no. I spoke to my doctor (who's known me since I was a child) and she asked if it was planned. I said yes but the sickness is making me wonder if I can cope. So she gave me antisickness. I've had to stop taking my Sertraline as for some reason I don't know if it's because I'm not eating, or what, but I can't tolerate it anymore. The day after I take it I feel even more nauseous than usual, get cold sweats and just sit and shake all day. So at the moment I'm not taking anything for my MH.
OP posts:
Original poster
lostandconfuseddaily · 07/02/2021 08:56

@CodenameVillanelle

Your relationship sounds pretty awful. Could you cope being a single parent of two?
It is. I lost 2 very close family members both under the age of 30 last year and I think the baby was wanted to try and mask the grief. He wasn't even supportive when my sister died. Every time I mention her now he says it's a "card" as is when I mention my mental health "you're just using it as a card as I can't say anything" I would literally be bringing it up at my parents house.
OP posts:
Original poster
lostandconfuseddaily · 07/02/2021 09:01

He doesn't even say anything like right tonight we're taking your mind off things. I'll run you a bath and then we'll watch a film. You know, if he doesn't understand my MH and phobia I can get that as it's not easy.. but try to have some compassion? He doesn't even ask if I'm ok. And since I mentioned this he's now being sarcastic and saying "can you manage to dress yourself" "can I assist you to the shower?" I didn't mean I needed babying.. just showing a little care would've been nice. Perfect example is he knows I'm feeling bad today - what is he doing? Suggesting we go for a walk in the snow, or have a day trying to distract me? Nope, he's planning on going to bed this afternoon so he can stay up late to watch the super bowl tonight...

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/02/2021 09:44

You need to speak to your GP. Have you told them you’ve stopped the setraline? You shouldn’t generally stop an antidepressant suddenly.
My fear would be that you want to terminate your pregnancy due to poor MH. And when you’re medicated (or whatever it takes) to feel well again then you’ll regret it.
So sorry you’re suffering OP. Flowers

Original poster
lostandconfuseddaily · 07/02/2021 09:46

@Wolfiefan

You need to speak to your GP. Have you told them you’ve stopped the setraline? You shouldn’t generally stop an antidepressant suddenly. My fear would be that you want to terminate your pregnancy due to poor MH. And when you’re medicated (or whatever it takes) to feel well again then you’ll regret it. So sorry you’re suffering OP. Flowers
No I haven't. Do you think I should ring them and just be honest about how I'm feeling? I don't know, I think even when I'm reasonably stable again I probably won't want to go ahead with another pregnancy as I just can't handle the nausea and the constant risk of vomiting. The only thing I can liken it to is someone who is scared of spiders having to sleep in a room with a tarantula hiding somewhere..
OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/02/2021 09:52

Oh do contact them. Of course you don’t have to continue with the pregnancy. But you do need to let them know how you’re feeling and seek help for that. I wish you the very best OP.

Original poster
lostandconfuseddaily · 07/02/2021 09:57

@Wolfiefan

Oh do contact them. Of course you don’t have to continue with the pregnancy. But you do need to let them know how you’re feeling and seek help for that. I wish you the very best OP.
Thank you. Yes I agree. I suppose even the councillors when going ahead with the abortion would help me x
OP posts:
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