Hi I really need to just write this down as It’s all I can think about.
I’m 42, obese and have just I found out at the weekend I’m pregnant. I’m married with a 12 year old and am very happy with our life. We both work full time, have a great life and our child is everything to me.
On seeing that positive test, I burst into tears, I just don’t think I can go through it all again. I’m now in my 40’s, our house is waaay too small and our first born is autistic. In the early years I really struggled & had PND. I just don’t think I can go through that again. My OH is devastated and can barley look at me but if the second child was more autistic than my first born I don’t know how we would cope and I’m pretty sure no 2 would have autism.
But there’s a small part of me that’s thinking am I throwing away my last chance to have another child? I keep telling myself that A 12 year age gap is huge plus I’d be heading towards late 40’s by the time it starts school! I’m conflicted at the moment, I can’t talk to anyone about it.
Has anyone else been in a similar position? I had an abortion when I was in my teens and never thought I would be in this position as an adult, certainly not one in her 40’s! I just feel like such an idiot.
I’ve got an appointment on Monday to talk about a medical termination which is scaring the life outta me.
Sorry not expecting anyone to respond, just needed to get all that off my chest.