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Pregnancy choices

Horrendous medical abortion yesterday

22 replies

Glitterzzz · 15/01/2021 20:59

I’m sat here 24 hours later in some kind of shock.

Yesterday at 4pm I started the second stage of my medical abortion through BPAS at home at just under 9 weeks. Two hours after the initial 4 internal tablets not much had happened that I was worried I was going to be one of those that didn’t bleed.

25 mins later I was in full blown cramps and couldn’t get comfortable or stay still despite the codine and neurofen I had taken ...

I felt a small gush and went to the bathroom to see I had passed what I now know to be membrames .... 45 mins later in a high level of pain I passed the sac ... I thought now this has come everything I have read tells me the pain and bleeding should calm down. To be fair I hasn’t bled heavily at this point ...

From the moment I passed the sac the pain went out of control. For three hours I paced the house, took too many codeine that failed to make any difference despite being 30mg a tablet ... I was on my knees I was moaning I was crying and at the end I was borderline screaming

Nealry two hours after the sac came out the pain has only got more intense. I Eventually called BPAS advice line and a nurse called me back: she told me to call an ambulance and that was it. She also told me someone would call me back today to see what had happened to me . I was crying down the phone and explaining as much as I was in pain I hated the thought of being judged at the hisptal as this was for an abortion.

I really took all I could take at at 9pm 5 hours after the initial internal tablets my husband drove me crying and begging for pain to stop the 25 mins journey to the hospital.

As I feared at the entrance there was rudeness abruptness and disregard once o mentioned abortion. I knew it would happen but even in the level of pain I was in I was still so much aware of the cruelty they were showing

I and a temperature on arrival so this meant being taken to the red zone full of positive and suspected covid patients. For 45 mins I stood unable to sit down crying moaning and swaying my body.

So much was the pain they took my obs and bloods while I stood and so consumed by pain I didn’t even feel / notice the cannula in my arm which I jerked and dislodged ..

I was covid tested and told to lay down as I needed a ECG as my heart rate went to 160bpm:.. I got morphine injected and STILL this didnt numb the pain...

Thankfully I was seen by a empathetic nurse and gyno doctor who helped me when I stood back up and flooded the floor and my clothes with blood.

I asked for more morphine and then the covid test came back negative and they moved me to resuscitation area.

Here I was still in a high level of pain despite all the drugs at home and the morphine. Another gyno doctor came, a man with no judgement and a kind persona who examined me and internally examined me where he removed two clots and some more membrane from my cervix.

This almost immediately reduced the pain by half. He was able to look at photos I had taken at home of what I passed and confirmed it was membrames and the sac. I wasn’t bleeding heavily and my bloods came back healthy so he wanted to admit me on pain only.

It was midnight my husband was outside this whole
Time in the car as nobody is allowed in and now it was his birthday : for the first time
In 5 hours I could breathe normally
Instead of blowing out my breath with every I half and exhale ... that felt amazing

They gave me more morphine ; anti sickness and another drug to help my stomach as I was extremely sick and exhausted at this point

I made it home at 2am

I have had managed miscarriages before wirh the same medication ; I’ve had c sections , and a termination for medical reasons at 17 weeks and have never in my life felt such extreme pain.

Bupas never did call me back

For the hospital staff that treated me with kindness . For the ones who were truly awful upon my arrival .. it makes my blood boil just thinking about it

Good luck to
Anyone about to
Go through this

If you find yourself in the same position don’t wait like I did go to hospital

OP posts:
UsernameSpoosername · 16/01/2021 22:10

OP I’m really sorry you experienced this but do you really think posting it on a public forum, under a topic where women are most likely coming for advice/support/reassurance regarding abortion is a wise move?

You’re going to of utterly terrified some women, & whilst your experience sounds unpleasant it is not the ‘norm.’

lunalulu · 17/01/2021 00:01

I think it's fair enough to point out what might happen. The OP is saying what to do if it does.

And gosh what a surprise the BPAS weren't supportive. (...)

I'm so sorry, OP, that this happened to you. Awful I'm so many ways. Hope you're feeling better Xx

Glitterzzz · 17/01/2021 13:31

I’m sorry but I shared to get it off my chest what happened to me and also a warning to other women. Not to scare anyone but to simply show not everyone’s abortion is the same and not everyone’s is straight forward. To scold me for sharing my truth is actually
Insulting to me and also not fair to the people who read these forums who deserve to know that actually it’s not just a heavy period

OP posts:
Mel1917 · 17/01/2021 16:40

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t think anyone is trying to scold you and I hope posting about it has got it off your chest. However the statistics are there for cases like this - women do deserve to know but there are far far far more successful no complication terminations that happen so I think what @usernamespoosername was thing to say is a lot of women come here for a reassurance during these decisions and times (myself included) and this may not be a helpful example.

I also had amazing amazing aftercare from BPAS so I’m sorry you didn’t. X

MorrisZapp · 17/01/2021 16:47

You didn't want to go to hospital because of judgement, and when you got there the people were cruel, but your advice to others is not to wait as long as you did to go to hospital?

I don't understand this. Are you in the UK?

TonMoulin · 17/01/2021 16:54

I’m not sure how it’s ever ok to silence a woman’s experience tbh.

What the OP experienced is a possibility and she is entitled to support like anyone else on this site.

@Glitterzzz, I’m sorry you went through hell. And that some of the HCP were rude and dismissive.

WhateverTheySay · 17/01/2021 17:30

If the OP feels she needs emotional support on here then she is entitled to ask for it just like everyone else. I'm sorry this happened to you darling and shame on anyone for judging you on a situation they know NOTHING about. Look after yourself xx

AKissAndASmile · 17/01/2021 17:34

Crazy to tell someone they shouldn't tell their experience. She has as much right as anyone to.

Sorry you went through this, OP. Sounds absolutely horrendous Flowers

Mel1917 · 17/01/2021 18:10

Nobody is judging. Especially not me.

Hope you have a quick recovery physically and mentally. X

Mythreeknights · 18/01/2021 14:40

OP this sounds horrendous and I applaud you for telling your story here, as it is a direct result of an abortion, which those on this forum may be looking for advice on. Abortion isn't always straightforward, and here is a good example of that.

Chica1990 · 21/01/2021 19:32

That sounds bloody awful, I’m sorry you had to go through it. What hospital was this?

Polecat03 · 21/01/2021 20:47

My experience was almost identical to yours, except that I wasn't offered any care. When I called the hospital the nurse said "yes, some women experience this when there are materials stuck on top of the cervix". That was it. I wasn't offered any extra help - and I had no pain relief whatsoever, as I'd vomited non stop that day. No pill stayed down any length of time. It was the most painful thing I've ever gone through.

Viviennemary · 21/01/2021 20:54

I think it is horrific that these tablets are legitimately prescribed to women to take at home with no medical support. I'd like to see an end to this.

Liliann · 22/01/2021 21:34

@Glitterzzz, that’s awful! So very sorry to hear you went through this!

I had a medical abortion with BPAS, took the tablets at home. No pain at all. Just goes to show how it can have a different effect on people...

Sending best thoughts your way!

PearlescentIridescent · 22/01/2021 21:43

Where else is the OP supposed to post, seriously? Conception or Pregnancy?? Of course not. This is the only board that is explicitly aimed at discussing abortions and the OP is most likely to get tailored support here. And to be fair it's perfectly clear in the title what the thread is about.

OP I'm sorry you went through such trauma. I've ever had an abortion and this sounds like a nightmare. Have you looked into any services for dealing with this kind of trauma? It sounds like lot to bear, it's almost like the pain of a traumatic birth but combined with the stigma of abortion. I hope you feel better soon.

Pugdoglife · 22/01/2021 21:44

OP, I'm very sorry that you went through this, I hope you heal physically and mentally quickly, it must have been an awful experience

TheYearOfSmallThings · 22/01/2021 21:53

and also not fair to the people who read these forums who deserve to know that actually it’s not just a heavy period

I agree it is important to discuss this. I haven't had MTOP but when I miscarried the clinical staff all told me it would be like a missed period. But of course it wasn't - during pregnancy your body is intensively proliferating, so there is much more to pass. I wish I had been better prepared, I think I would have been less shocked and anxious about the reality.

Glitterzzz · 22/01/2021 22:52

I know when I was waiting to go through this I read this board daily. BPAS did call me back a couple of days after the actual abortion took place / the emergency call was placed to them. They didn’t offer any support or even a listening ear the call lasted less than 2 mins .

I am still in a level of shock. I’m still bleeding . I’m still processing 8 days ago right now I was in horrendous pain ....

To the poster who said she didn’t understand me saying don’t wait to go to the hospital yet I waited ... yes I want women to learn from my mistake. If you find your abortion isn’t going to plan of you cannot cope with the pain and something is stopping you from going then don’t suffer and go !

It took so much for me to go and despite multiple injections of morphine I needed the medical attention of the doctors to remove membrames and clots that were stuck in my cervix .

I did know things can go wrong . I did initially think it was not working .... but I didn’t know I would go through extreme pain.

The rudeness of the initial A and E staff has played on my mind a few times but I won’t be eaten up by it. I’m so thankful the two male doctors and a couple of nurses took good compassionate care of me .

To everyone who responded thank you x
It’s going to take some time to process what’s Happened. I do not regret the abortion. But my mind still feels detached if that makes sense

OP posts:
loopyapp · 22/01/2021 23:13

Op if it helps you any perhaps the staff that weren't particularly friendly might have been annoyed and frustrated that the service that facilitated your termination weren't supporting you. Leaving you to present yourself to a service that is massively swamped.

They were massively unfair to take any of that out on you.

I hope you recover quickly

mineofuselessinformation · 22/01/2021 23:13

OP, it sounds like you had a 'cervical shock' - that the membranes etc getting stuck in your cervix caused all of the terrible experience you had.
I'm not minimising what happened to you by any means, but until they examined you internally they couldn't have identified the problem, or known what to do.
It's no help to you, but sadly these days unless you are at risk of dying you do have to wait.... I have personal experience of this through more than one family member.
I'm hoping that you are starting to feel a bit better, but if you're finding that you can't get past what happened, it may be helpful to contact PALS at the hospital who will liaise with the staff involved and try to give you some form of answer as to why your treatment went the way it did.
FWIW, I'm sorry that you felt judged for your decision - that was completely wrong, and hopefully staff will be educated as a result if you speak to PALS.

Glitterzzz · 23/01/2021 01:46

Oh I do not have any issue with how long I waited at all, I was immediately put into
A red zone for suspected / positive covid patients as I had a slight temperature on arrival ( negative test ) and then moved to resuscitation.

They took my heart rate being extremely fast, and my pain degree serious hence wanting to admit me to
Control the pain.

The initial staff who asked why I was there were the awful ones along with the reception staff who
Joined in... like I said I won’t let that eat me up.

I think it will take
Some time to really process what the hell happened ... it was extremely traumatic and I was not in any way prepared for it .

OP posts:
Mamof · 10/03/2021 18:57

@Glitterzzz just read your post awful experience you had, how are you doing now? I've just been through it in December x

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