17 weeks pregnant with a 7 month old baby .. don’t want this baby

[Breannebr]

I feel super selfish but I don’t want this baby .. I have my 7 month old daughter and we are barley getting by! I feel like I’m not gonna be able to give my daughter all the attention she deserves.. my husband wants this baby that’s the only reason why I’m going through this .. but I cry myself to sleep thinking how much I want to this baby and how I don’t feel love towards it like I do with my daughter .. it’s not the little babies fault I feel this way but I want nothing to do with it

You need some support, one way or another.

Do you think you might want a termination? It is still an option, but you have no time to lose. Or if you are committed to going ahead with the pregnancy, you might need some MH support. Have you spoken to your midwife about your feelings? You will not by any means have been the first woman she has spoken to who was ambivalent about their pregnancy or who was considering terminating.

Are you more practically worried op or emotionally ? Lots of mothers worry about having to split their time and love (the latter isn’t true, you just have another great love).

That’s really difficult for you.
I agree about speaking with your midwife

Hi. I was In the same position as you a few years ago. Kids just 14.5 months apart. I had an abortion booked despite my husband being 100% against it. I cancelled the abortion on the morning I was due to have it - I was 13 weeks pregnant. I had all the same worries as you and I was emotionally a mess. I won’t lie and say it was easy when the baby came - It wasn’t. Especially the first 18 months but we got through it. My kids are now closer than ever.

Ultimately I want to reassure you that it is possible. Make a list. Work out exactly what your fears are and how they could be reduced or eliminated. Come up with plans for childcare, money etc. At the end of the day it is up to you, just make sure you have covered every concern so you have no regrets on the choice you make.

I'm sorry you're struggling Breannebr.

You have a big decision to make and not much time.

When you say you're just getting by do you mean physically, emotionally or financially?

For the latter I'd say remember 2nd babies are cheaper. You already have most stuff you need.

For the other two it's harder. Yes two is more strain and it depends of you get a y support of DP etc.

Do you worry a new baby would take away from your daughter? As a Mom to twins I'd reassure you that's fine. They don't need to be sole focus to grow up loved and happy.

But you're also entitled to not want this pregnancy to continue. Regardless of your DP this is YOUR body and you get ultimate say.

How do you feel imagining 6 months down the line, post abortion with DD? Or with a baby and DD?

My daughter has two that are 18 months apart and youngest is nearly 11 months old now. Despite only being babies they are really close and there is a definite bond there

My daughter is 6 years old than her sibling and they hate each other. The age gap meant one was always bored, activity too easy or difficult for one. I wished I'd had them really close together even if the first years would have been hard work

When they are older it will be much easier than a bigger age gap. The first won’t remember being an only so no jealousy and they will be able to enjoy similar activities. Yes the first year will be hard, but it is hard at that age anyway. Do you have a supportive partner?

@FatherChristmad

My daughter has two that are 18 months apart and youngest is nearly 11 months old now. Despite only being babies they are really close and there is a definite bond there

My daughter is 6 years old than her sibling and they hate each other. The age gap meant one was always bored, activity too easy or difficult for one. I wished I'd had them really close together even if the first years would have been hard work

I have 2 sisters. There is 18 months between 2 of us and 7 years between me and my youngest sister.

I have never ever got on with the one 18 months younger but always got on with the other one.

We are all in our 60's now and nothing has changed

My sons were born 14 months apart and grew up playing together and are still (in adulthood) best of friends and extremely close. It's hard work but it's not the end of the world.You will almost certainly love this baby when he or she is in your arms.

If you choose to terminate, then you need to make arrangements quickly. I hope you have a good support network around you. At 17 weeks it is unlikely you would have a straightforward medical termination.