I don't know what to do

[Enola41]

I found out on Monday that I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I'm 41 and this has come as a bit of a shock as we weren't trying. My husband doesn't want the baby, he feels that due to our age and health reasons that we shouldn't go ahead. We have a beautiful DD and are happy as a family. He will support me no matter what I decide.

I don't know what to do. I've always wanted more children but had come terms with the fact that we would only have one but I also understand where my husband is coming from.
I feel so alone and want to cry because I don't know what I want to do for the best.

I worry that if I choose not to go ahead I will resent my husband (to be honest I do feel a bit pressured to terminate). I worry that if I go ahead with the pregnancy what will happen to my happy little family and my health.

One minute I'm so happy, the next I feel nothing but despair. Sorry I'm rambling.

Are you in bad health? There's no reason you should think that 41 is 'old' and I have to say...your husband should not have put you in this position.

If you're happy at the thought of a baby...you should have the baby. What health reasons is he talking about though? It's hard to judge without knowing.

He worries about the risks to me and the baby because of being older. He also has been struggling mentally a lot for the last year or so.
When we had our DD we struggled the first few months as it was a huge change.
We have lots of stressful things going on in our lives at the moment (bereavement, moving house, work etc) I think we are both worried that adding a baby to the mix will be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Like I said he will support me no matter what.

Health wise I'm a bit unfit and suffer from anxiety. I was doing well with keeping fit but then hurt my back and it's not been right since. The recent stresses we have been under haven't helped at all.

I think the trouble you're having at the moment is indecision. I don't think it's fair of PP to say your DH shouldn't have put you in this position . You both made the baby together and he has expressed how he feels about the situation.

Perhaps give yourself some time to really think things through and talk and then aim to make a joint decision by a certain date.

I completely understand the turmoil you're in. But coming to a decision should hopefully help 💐

FTM yes it takes two...but the trouble is that only the woman has the physical strain and the mental strain of an abortion.

They already have a child. He should have stayed on the fence...and said he'll support her whatever she decides because it's HER body. They're already IN a committed relationship.

Thank you for your responses. I'm speaking to BPAS in the week to talk over my options. I have spoken to my husband and told him that it feels like he is pressuring me to do something that I don't want to do.
To be honest I 'm trying not to say something I'll refer to him. I've got to the end of my tether after a week of why he doesn't want another baby, walking around miserable as sin and lots of sighing. No positives only negatives.
Sorry, this is the only place I can vent.

Regret not refer

You need to do what’s best for you. How do YOU feel about the pregnancy? Not to dismiss your husband’s feelings but ultimately the decision will be yours. If termination isn’t something you want to do then don’t. Going through with it to please your husband may end up in a lot of resentment. Keep the communication going, make sure you let him know how you feel about it.