Quick second conception

[Kma25]

Hi all,

I have just found out the other day that I am pregnant for a second time.
I know everybody’s situation is different but this actually happened very fast for us and we were successful on first try. I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon and am now panicking. My daughter is 19 months old so would be roughly 27-28 months old at second birth of all goes well.

I really need to speak to somebody preferably who doesn’t know me as I don’t want to be judged, but I don’t know if I am ready for this. I absolutely adore my daughter and am really enjoying all of our memories and experiences my OH and I are building with her as a family of 3. I’m not sure if she would be ready for a new addition either.

I know I’m panicking as my OH and I did always want a second child at some point but I did imagine this would be when my daughter was 3-4 years old. Does anyone have any similar experiences. I feel so guilty to say this as it happened so easily for me but I don’t know if I am ready to give up one to one time with my daughter.

I’ve had 2 very close together -20 months apart and it has overall been a positive experience. Essentially it is caring for 2 small ones and takes some planning. As with anything I think there’s pros and cons. There were times when it was really hard but I have to say that I didn’t particularly find it a lot harder than having just one. Because they are so close in age, they now play together and are very close. Also you come out of the baby/ toddler phase pretty much in one go. Having children close together isn’t for everyone I get that but for me personally I haven’t really had any guilt over missing out on one to one time as I always tried to incorporate both in play or whatever we were doing as they were sort of in the same bracket. I would also have childcare on occasion, for special days out with the older one ect... there’s a lot to be said for having them close together and I find it wonderful to see them being close and having one another to play with. I would say think about what you’re able to cope with... you know your situation best. All I’m saying is that having children close together isn’t the end of the world and while it certainly is an adjustment, it also brings a lot of positives to consider. Good luck.

It doesn't sound like a particularly close age gap if I'm honest but a fairly average one. That doesn't mean it will be easy, but it sounds like you were trying to get pregnant, and succeeded. Presumably you felt that you were ok with the gap you'd have, given that you've been trying to get pregnant, though it's not uncommon to feel shaky about it once you see those two lines.

I think it's a lovely gap. It's close enough that you'll enjoy doing a lot of the same things together but but enough that you won't feel like you're parenting two babies. Remember your current toddler will be a lot older once the baby is born. It's easy to think 'but they are so young themselves' when you find out you are pregnant, but it's hard to visualise how much older and more independent they'll be once you add on another 8 months.

Less than 2 years between my 2, it's been. Bit of a blur but now they are in reception and nursery it's nice as they chat together and play together!

I wanted a 3 year age gap too but baby had other plans!

Congratulations!

I had mine 17 months apart. The second pregnancy was planned but we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly (on the first try) so I’d imagined the age gap would be bigger than it is. In the very early days I did miss having one on one time with the older one and sort of resented having to look after the younger one. But now they’re 1 and 2.5 they’re so much fun together. There are so many advantages to having them close in age - they’re into the same things at the same time, they love playing with each other, they obviously adore each other. I think the presence of a sibling also prevents the older one from growing into a spoilt brat. So I wouldn’t change a thing.

I have 17 months between mine, 1st was IVF with donor eggs after many cycles and 10 years of trying and then 2nd was a natural surprise. It's hard but it's fine, it was tricky when the baby was a new born as I couldn't leave them in the same room as the toddler was trying to pull him off the sofa or put things in his mouth! Once the baby got a bit sturdier it was easier. Now they are 1 and 2 it's better as they play together and it's lovely to see. Negatives- both sleep pretty badly so I'm up several times every night, getting places with a double pram is hard, the nursery bills are a killer too! Good luck

Thank you all for your lovely responses!
I think the shock has calmed down a bit and I realise this is a blessing and will actually be a lovely gift for my daughter. I think just the fear of change and mum guilt hit early. But composed myself and realise I have at least more precious months with her before our unit expands❤️
Thanks again everyone xxx

At least 8 more precious months that should say, and we have a lot more memories to make in that time💖