Pregnant 16yo Daughter

[pinkfish1997]

I have just come back from a hospital appointment for my daughter having discovered 2 weeks ago that she is pregnant. She couldn't remember the date of her last period but thought it was around 6-10th August, putting her at between 6-8 weeks pregnant. The scan this morning showed she is 10+2....we are both shocked, upset and worried about the difference this will make to her decision.

She is 100% sure that she wants a termination and I fully support that decision, however I would be grateful if someone could let me know what to expect. I know the experience is different for everybody but I'm not sure whether to try and encourage her to go down the surgical route rather than the medical route.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Hello. From all the research I have done, surgical abortion seems to be the best way. It is what I have decided to do. The medical abortion seems to be very unpredictable in the amount of pain it causes, time it takes and whether it is successful or not x

I had a termination when I was 17.

It was far simpler and less traumatic than I expected.

I went in, was briefed, waited my turn for a couple of hours, went through to surgery, woke up with no pain feeling like I'd had a decent sleep, some period type bleeding, got fed tea and toast, went home. About 6 hours in and out.

I was extremely relieved and grateful. Thank god we live in a country that makes this possible.

I had a surgical termination when I was 16 and I was fine. Went to the clinic for the usual checks, signing of consent form and then waiting for it to be my turn.

The procedure was over very quickly and when I came round from the anaesthetic I was a bit groggy and bleeding quite a lot but within a few hours I felt myself again. The biggest feeling was relief that it was all behind me and because I’d been asleep it wasn’t anything that had traumatised me.

When I read about people’s experiences of medical terminations on here I do worry that it would be too much for a 16 year old to cope with, physically and emotionally, especially at the stage of pregnancy she is at.

However, one if the things you need to consider is how long would she have to wait for a surgical termination?

When it happened to me I conceived around New Year’s Eve, found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks later. I then had to go to various appointments and once the decision was made that I was going to have a termination I had to wait about 3 weeks for it.

It was a while ago though so waiting times may be very different.

The concern would be that if your daughter had to wait 2-3 weeks, if not longer, for a surgical termination then would she be emotionally be able to cope with a termination of a gestation age of 12-13 weeks (or more).

So many things to consider and you sound like you’re being incredibly supportive and your daughter is lucky to have you. The best of luck.

@QueenofmyPrinces Thank you so much for the reassurance. Many of the stories on here are from older mums or those who have already given birth, so I was more concerned about the physical impact on a 16yo as opposed to a fully-grown woman.

The good news is my daughter now has an appointment for a surgical termination under conscious sedation this Thursday. Although we'd both have preferred it to be under general anaesthetic I actually had all my wisdom teeth out a few weeks ago under CS and I remember very little about it. My daughter and I chatted through the options over the weekend and weighed up the pros and cons of both, then she actually opted for a surgical procedure herself. This was quite lucky tbh as when she had the phone consultation it was the only option offered to her, by which point she already felt fully prepared to go that route.

I'm just glad we have an end in sight now. Its a very tough lesson for her to have learned but its made me realise how strong a young woman she is turning out to be ❤.

Best of luck Pinkfish it sounds like you are both handling it well.

@Backofthenewt That's really reassuring to hear - thank you. My daughter now has a surgical termination booked for this Thursday so I'm glad we will finally have some closure.

You are so right about us being fortunate in this country to have these options available to us. I'll be honest and say I'm struggling a little with the moral side of things (despite me being a life-long pro-choice advocate) but I fully understand this is not about me and my thoughts/beliefs, it is all about making sure my daughter has my full support, love and kindness throughout.

@VHarvey79 Thank you - yes, that is the route my daughter has now chosen and she is booked in to have the procedure done under conscious sedation this Thursday.

Best of luck with your journey - it's not an each choice to make but I'll be thinking of you x

You sound like a really lovely mum @pinkfish1997, I wish my own mum had been so supportive when I was 17 and in that situation. Your daughter is very lucky x

@pinkfish1997. Thinking of you and your daughter today xx

I had a surgical abortion and it was honestly fine. I woke up feeling like a weight had been lifted and I could go about my business as usual pretty much straight away, although they say take it easy for 24 hours after the general anesthetic. My sister had a medical termination and she was pretty much traumatised afterwards, its essentially like going through labour. And there's the possibility she may see the fetus.

Its lovely that you are being so supportive, I hope you sre both ok