So torn.

[eyestotheskies]

I’m pregnant with a 4th in far from ideal circumstances. I am separated from my children’s dad and have fallen pregnant through contraceptive failure with someone I’ve been seeing on-off since the new year.

On paper I know that a termination is the right and sensible thing to do and I have made the arrangements. However I don’t know if I can live with that choice. It feels wrong to me and I’m absolutely torturing myself day in day out with what to do.

I don’t know why I’m posting really, just looking for support or anyone who’s been through similar..

Ok, so at the moment you are thinking about your feelings about the situation.
Not to criticise you (I had an abortion for my own reasons when I had existing children) - I think you also need to think about the impact on your family too.
How would another child affect them?
Would you be able to cope, energy-wise, and financially? Remember to factor in that the father may not want to know, and may not contribute toward the upkeep.
It's a very emotionally-laden decision, and not one taken easily I know.
Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well for you.

Thank you for your reply. The reasons you state are the same reasons I know that practically a termination is the ‘sensible’ decision.

I had a termination before and the regret and ‘what ifs’ nearly finished me off. That’s what I’m afraid of, enormous regret and grief for something which can never be undone.