Please can someone offer me an impartial view or some advice. I really don’t need to be ripped to shreds, I’m in pieces and trying to care for three small children and could do without being judged.
My last period date was the 21st of July, so the beginning of my new cycle, I got a near positive ovulation on the 4th of August, I remember getting what looked like a peak but I couldn’t input it into my app as my phone was broken at the time. Me and my partner were having sex everyday as we were trying for a baby, however we got into a massive argument on the 10th and ended up splitting up because of it.
On the 14th my children’s father came over to help me put them to bed as they’d been nightmares all day, my two youngest twins had been teething and I was at my wits end. He ended up staying for a drink, we drank to much and slept together, we did use a condom but it split.
On the 23rd of August I got a very faint positive test, only an Asda own, it was so faint I wasn’t sure that it could possibly be positive but I managed to get it to show up on pictures and it did look pink, I did a first response as soon as I could and I got a line on that too however it was fainter. I then struggled for a week to get another line that I could see, on the 27th of August I got a full blown positive and since then I’ve had tons of positives. Me and my partner are back together now, he knows about that night and we are left with a paternity question.
Reasonable probability says that it is my partners, I know I ovulated around the fourth, I know that we had sex everyday, however I did a clear blue weeks indicator yesterday, I was praying for it to say 3+ but it was 1-2 leaving my head scrambled. Me and my partner are at a loss and just don’t know what to do. I don’t want another baby with my children’s father, and he doesn’t want anymore children.
I’m already having pregnancy symptoms, I’ve been shattered, nausea, lower back ache, my boobs are massive and I already look bloated, which leads me to believe I’m further along but the clear blue indicates otherwise.
I have a few options but I just don’t know what to do. We can have a prenatal paternity test which is expensive, can’t be done until 7 weeks and also I would worry the results were incorrect, we would test again once the baby was born, and then what would we do if the results were incorrect. My partner want a biological child so badly, it would kill him for the baby to not be his own.
The second option is go for an early scan and see what the measurements are, we can more accurately work out when I conceived then however I’ve been pregnancy before and I’m finding it hard enough not getting attached now, if I go and see it on a screen I don’t think that will be the case. Also, measurements could be wrong.
The third is keep it and hope for the best, however we will always have the niggle that it isn’t my current partners and will have to test when it is born, I will also have to inform my children’s partner, I also know this will hurt my partners family which is something I don’t want to do.
The fourth is an abortion, which is not something I dont feel particularly comfortable with or want to do but I can’t see another option at the moment, but I feel so sad about it, this baby was wanted, but I can’t have another baby with my children’s father. I don’t want too have another baby with my children’s father. The thought of an abortion just doesn’t sit right with me, I always say I’m prochoice for everyone but I’m pro life for me. I feel like a hypocrite. I’ve had two pregnancies resulting in three beautiful little children and I don’t know if I could go through with an abortion, however I just don’t know what else to do. It worries me that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again even though I know abortions don’t affect your fertility, i know I would feel guilty, I know that I would wonder if I’d made the right choice.
I just need an impartial opinion, but please don’t rip me to shreds. I’m struggling as it is, I already feel so so so stupid for letting myself getting into this situation.
Thanks to anyone who might reply.