Abortion

[Sarah2023]

I found out I'm pregnant and have decided that having a abortion is the right thing to do for me and my family. I have a call booked to talk about my choices next Tuesday. I have decided not to tell anyone in my family about it if I can, It's a hard decisions but one I feel I need to take for myself. I was just wondering if there is anyone here maybe going though the same thing and maybe wants to talk/support each other through this tough time.

I’m not going through it right now but have done in the past and sending you good wishes

I also didn’t tell family so I didn’t have the support but I haven’t regretted that yet

Mine was 5 years ago

Hello Sarah,

I am going through exactly the same as you right now, word for word, and I would love to be supports for each other during this time. Thank you for writing your post 💕

I found out I was pregnant last Wednesday morning, and I have my Consultation telephone appt with the nurse tomorrow to discuss next steps/options. I am certain that a termination is what I want. For many reasons, I am just not ready to be a mummy right now.

I shall let you know tomorrow how the telephone appointment goes, what is asked of me, next steps etc, and hopefully that will give you some of the guidance that I haven't had access to. Hugs 💕 Hillary x

Happy to talk too. I took the 4 then 2 pills today. It was a very difficult decision but I'm making my peace that it was right. It was unplanned anyway (I'm married and 40 with a toddler) and just as I wrapped my head around maybe keeping the pregnancy going and hoping for a healthy baby, I found out it was a twin pregnancy which unfortunately wasn't possible.

There are a load of old threads around this topic which you may want to read through but do feel free to ask me anything xx good luck x

Hi @hillarypcof 💜 thank you for being so wonderfully supportive with me. I didn't realise your situation. Please do talk as much as you need. It's helped me hugely xx

FWIW talking my mum was a huge mistake. But my older sis had been amazing. I also told a couple of friends and really wish I hadn't. Just wanted to share experience on telling people in real life. I came up against judgement that I never would have predicted x

• telling my mum. Sorry for taking over this thread!!

I found out on Wednesday too Hillary, I was hoping for a earlier date but all they had was next Tuesday. It's going to be a long week, of waiting. I would love if we could support each other 💕

Don't worry bornonthe80s I think if we can all help each other even in a small way whether you been on our situation or are going though it now.

I know my family would be supportive of my decision, I just feel like they way I can cope best about my decision in my head wise is to not tell them if that makes sense. 💕

That makes total sense, and I couldn't have said it any better myself. I know that my family would support me, but for my own mental way of coping, I have chosen not to tell.

Did you phone BPAS or Marie Stopes? Or some other organisation? I have my consultation over the phone with the nurse today at 9.30am, so I will give you a run down of what happens so that you can prepare yourself. You are not alone 💕 the worst part is the waiting, all I've been able to think about since last Wednesday is that I have a baby starting to grow inside of me, but I know in reality it is nothing more than "a few cells" at the moment. I hope this doesn't sound awful but I've been trying to not get too mentally attached to "it", trying not to think about it as "baby" - instead I am telling myself that it is something that needs to leave my body, and that's what the nurses are going to help me to do xx

Not going through it but wanted to offer a handhold to you Sarah, Hillary and bornin

If it helps this is my experience, I've used Marie Stopes. I found out over two weeks ago about the pregnancy (I would be 6.5 weeks now) and booked in for a scan and bloods (just a finger prick) for the earliest time which was a couple of weeks later. This was because I was initially electing for surgical (I ended up going down the medical route).

MS have been pretty good. I had a counselling call between finding out and my scan appt and at this point was still wildly oscillating between keeping or terminating. Timing was rubbish (about to move house and job/industry) and I turned 40 a few months ago so age a factor, but then I'm solidly married with a 2 year old already, moving to much bigger place and closer to family so this decision was a headspin. MS really supported me and helped me feel that I wasn't a bad person etc which were feelings I was struggling with.

Exactly a week after finding out I had a phone consultation to check medical history and on that we talked more about medical termination. I was concerned about 'dealing with it' at home but this call made me think more about the pills route. They were very reassuring that you could change your mind at any point.

I then had my scan appt last weds. Was seen very quickly by an extremely lovely nurse who didn't blink when I said 'pretty sure' when she asked how certain I was to terminate. She took blood pressure, went through safeguarding questions, and then scanned. I asked to see the scan and she checked I was sure then delivered the blow it was a twin pregnancy. That was the decider for me really but I was VERY cut up about it. The next surgical appt wasn't for a couple of weeks (1st sept earliest).

I had another MS counselling call which was so useful, bawled my eyes out on the phone but spoke to the most amazing woman. After a difficult weekend weighing up the risks of carrying twins (for all 3 of us) plus the practicalities, financials, mental health, etc etc of having them we decided to terminate and I then had a call with MS again for a medical termination, spoke to another lovely nurse, meds arrived the next day. She was still saying I could change my mind about which route or not at all etc, honestly felt zero pressure here. Another huge reason for medical was because once we had made up our minds we wanted to action ASAP, the waiting is the worst part.

I took the first pill on Monday and the next lot yesterday so if you choose the med route and want to know more about it I can tell you my experience which has not been bad apart from emotionally for me as I would have kept a singleton - but that's because we would have wanted that despite my initial shock. I imagine if you're certain about termination that will not be a strong feeling.

Despite all the emotional stuff I actually feel a sense of relief that I'm not dithering between options anymore and I'm working to find peace with my decision xx

In case this is a worry for you, they don't interrogate you about termination at all and you can be completely honest on the counselling calls x

hillarypcof I hope your call goes ok today sending hugs💕

I tried both places but because of where I live I have to go through my local hospital to have it done.

I understand where your coming from, I'm trying not to think of it as a pregnancy, just something that needs sorted.

bornninthe80s How are you feeling today? Sending you hugs 💕

Thank you for sharing your experience @borninthe80s, I hope you are feeling well after your treatment. For the reasons you mentioned it sounds like your decision was for the best for you.
Sending you warm hugs 💕

I have just had my telephone consultation with a nurse. She was so friendly and kind and reassuring.

It started off with some demographic questions, and medical questions, and a little chat about contraception and what they could offer (they don't force this upon you, they are just explaining the options and can arrange anything you like). She then went on to say that abortions are so very common - 1 in 3 women experience them - and she wishes it was talked about more. I kept apologising for wasting her time, and she was so lovely, very much a "these things happen!" Lady, and gave me all the time and understanding in the world.

She said there is no need to invite me in for a scan, as my dates I told her about last period totally tallies up with her records and that she was 100% certain I am "5 weeks and 1 day", although only 3 weeks since conception, which tallies up with my period/ovulation dates. As a result, she is going to post me the medical abortion pills in the post, which should take 2-3 working days and arrive in discreet packaging. Royal Mail send you a text when it is 24 hours from you.

She spent time to talk about the entire process, what to expect, side effects, how to prepare etc. She went through all of my questions, and explained that in the pack comes as instructions and information booklet, as well as a 24 hour helpline which can be called at any time.

She said that due to how not far along I am that it will just feel like a heavy and painful period, but made me aware of things to look out for. She also went through all the "what ifs" (side effects), but said they are so rare and that she just had to go through them to basically cover their backsides!

I hope this helps and gives you a reassuring idea of what to expect? Xx

Thank you @hilleni 💕

I was similar in December last year, I had a termination at 5 weeks 5 days.

The nurse was so lovely-she was very matter of fact, kind, listened to me...

I had a scan and she asked if I'd like to see (I didn't), she asked if I'd like to know if it was a multiple pregnancy (I declined as thought that might make it harder for me).

I had a 3 year old and 1 year old at home, I couldn't cope with another baby, emotionally or financially.

I would have a newborn now and I do still think about "what if..." but I don't regret it at all.

It was very painful for the first day and the bleeding was very heavy but it was actually ok!

Unfortunately my dad has a stroke the same time (he's ok now) so it was a very emotional time!

Sending love to all

@mammyloveswine thank you for your message 💕 I am glad your experience went well. I am sorry to hear about your dad, what a time you had to go through! 😔 Sending hugs xx

Morning everyone, how is everyone feeling today.

I'm struggling badly not with me decision but morning sickness has kicked in and it's not just in the morning and feel I'm feeling terrible and it's getting hard to hid it.

Morning all,
Not sure if this is the domain for this....
I found out I am pregnant on Monday - 4 weeks or so. It was planned. However I’m now very unsure if this is what I want. I’m not overly maternal. I like my life the way it is and the relationship I have with my husband. I totally feel like “what have I done?!” There isn’t an once of happiness. It’s all dread. Which is all very surprising considering I planned this!

I’m now seriously thinking of a termination. Not in a million years would I think I would be but there it is. I’m 39 years old and this is a first pregnancy.

How do I even go about navigating this?