Hi, I’m hoping someone will be able to offer me some advice. I found out I was pregnant 9 days ago, unplanned and not in a relationship with the father. FWB situation with my best friend who I live with.
I went through a mix of emotions when I found out. I’ve always wanted to be a mum and had convinced myself that it wasn’t going to happen as I’m already 31 and single. I had an early scan done which found I’m pregnant with twins and 7 weeks. I’ve told one of my closest friends who was so excited for me and I got swept up in that excitement convincing myself that this would all work out ok.
I eventually told the dad yesterday and his reaction was what I’d feared whilst he worked through the impact this would have on his life. He already has a child that he shared custody of and whilst we live together we have always been clear that neither of us want a relationship with each other. He’s not very stable mentally and whilst I’m better than him I also have my own struggles.
He has made it clear that he thinks the best action for everyone involved is termination. I care about him deeply and hate the effect this is having on him and is likely to have on his life. I had convinced myself that I would keep the babies and be ok on my own if he didn’t want to be involved but he has said he will be there out of duty if I go through with the pregnancy. The more we talk about it the more I think that he has some valid points and maybe it’s for the best for everyone if we terminate.
My problem is that I don’t know if I’m doing it because I care so much about him and don’t want to be responsible for his mental health declining. But I am terrified that I won’t be able to cope with the knowledge that I’ve had the chance to be a mum and terminated.
I’ve got an appointment tomorrow with a nurse to discuss options and the idea of termination but I don’t know how I know whether I’m making the right choice for me or not.