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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

I don't know what to do!

13 replies

mw90 · 26/06/2020 06:57

Hi, yesterday I did a test after being 2 weeks late, it was positive.
I really don't know what to do,I have 3 already, dh doesn't want any more and he doesn't think I'm capable of having any more. I feel so upset and conflicted, but he just brings it back to money or needing a bigger house and how it will take away from the others.
What ever my decision I don't feel that I will be supported.

OP posts:

sleepismysuperpower1 · 26/06/2020 11:13

I would call the marie stopes pregnancy options support line (open 24/7). They can offer advice. all the best x
www.mariestopes.org.uk/abortion-services/what-are-my-pregnancy-options/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1vGXoJ-f6gIVB-7tCh1RvghmEAAYASAAEgKlIPD_BwE

IshaPoet · 27/06/2020 11:25

I understand what you mean. I found out a few weeks ago I'm pregnant also and have 3 already and my partner hasn't exactly been hands on or helping in anyway to make me feel like it's a good idea.

IshaPoet · 27/06/2020 11:30

The worst thing is that it doesn't effect the men directly when it comes to going through with the pregnancy or not it's still on us to either way. I'm on the same boat in a small place and money has been brought up as a reason.

I've called and made a consultation appointment over the phone to see what my options are as is has put a big wall and distance between us now where we haven't spoken in days and when we do it's arguments that end up with me bleeding abit and still being pregnant.

Try to your best not to let it upset you I know it's easier said than done but your well-being and mental state are a priority just like his opinions and feels are.

Bedlington5 · 30/06/2020 07:01

I am in the same place, I'm 40 and DH is 48 we have already have 11 and 9 year old children and this pregnancy is a total surprise. My DH says we wouldn't have planned this so termination is an option in his eyes. I'm so confused and feel sick about making the decision. My heart says keep it and my head says do I want to do it all again. I can't stop crying

Emeeno1 · 30/06/2020 07:11

Sorry that you find yourself here, it sucks. I found the women on the phonelines and at the abortion clinic very, very helpful to speak to. They really listen, and they don't judge.

faithfulbird · 01/07/2020 01:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

faithfulbird · 01/07/2020 01:41

@bedlington5 please don't be upset I know it's a hard decision to make. Follow your heart if that's what you want. Then stay strong with your decision.

I always think people who are quite adamant with a no no no should terminate (I hate even saying that word) but if you even have a 1% doubt as to should I should I not then keep it.

Bedlington5 · 01/07/2020 07:49

@faithfulbird thank you for your help! I had a talk with DH and he was very supportive to whatever choice I make. I keep thinking about the sickness in pregnancy, the sleepless night, the toddler years which puts me off but then I think about a beautiful child in our lives and my other children and I go back to keeping it. I'm so confused. I will call Marie Stopes today and see if that will help me. I'm worried about regret on either side this is really crap!!

yellowsunset · 01/07/2020 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ as it repeats deleted message. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

mw90 · 01/07/2020 10:55

I'm hoping it was just badly worded (I hope). We've had a proper talk about it and we've decided to keep the baby. My heart really wasn't with having a termination, I work 20hrs a week so I'll put some money by each month to help.

OP posts:

faithfulbird · 01/07/2020 12:47

I'm really sorry it was badly worded! I meant follow your heart and do what's best for you.

Original poster

mw90 · 01/07/2020 12:56

No problem, and Thank you x

OP posts:

Mumtobexo · 01/07/2020 22:13

@mw90

Hi, yesterday I did a test after being 2 weeks late, it was positive. I really don't know what to do,I have 3 already, dh doesn't want any more and he doesn't think I'm capable of having any more. I feel so upset and conflicted, but he just brings it back to money or needing a bigger house and how it will take away from the others. What ever my decision I don't feel that I will be supported.

Sorry to sound quite abrupt but if your DH felt that way about another baby then he definitely should've wrapped up and also he has NO right to tell you what to do with YOUR body and telling you that it would take away from the others is also cowardly and a poor excuse. If anything he sounds like he needs a reality check. Sorry to sound rude but men that are like this are very annoying. I under some reasoning too his choice like if he's worried about finance etc but you always find a way. HOWEVER he knows what w happens when you have unprotected sex.

Ultimately I would say it's your choice because the baby is in YOUR body and if you did get rid of baby and you know deep down you didn't want too it's only you that's going too live with that regret not him. So do what makes YOU happy regardless.. I'm sure he would love baby when baby arrives and I'm sure he'd be willing to make changes. It could be unexpected shock but at the same time he needs to handle the situation like a man, a father and a husband.

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