Surgical procedure and scared

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Hello,

I'm 9/10weeks and my only option is a surgical procedure. I am really scared and anxious and feeling guilty.

If anyone has had one before please could you answer my concerns please,

Does it hurt? Will I be awake ? What do they do with the foetus? Do you bleed heavily afterwards?

I stupidly watched a video which explains how it's done and five minutes into it the tune changed completely telling the viewers that they suck out the baby with a vacuum while the baby is alive and it amputates the limbs off basically rips it apart, the DOCTOR then goes ahead telling me it's murder" so I burst into tears and feel really really horrible about this. It doesn't help that I will be around 11weeks at the time of the procedure so I'm really cut up about it even though having another child in my position right now isn't sensible.

Seeing that video has really made me think if I'm doing the right thing. Sorry for rambling I'm just feeling very alone and having panic attacks over it.

Hi OP, didn't want to read and run.

Be VERY careful what you watch online, there is a huge pro-life movement out there who will try to guilt trip and horrify any woman they can out of a procedure for no other reason other than they refuse to accept that their opinion about pregnancy is the right the one.

That video you watched - try to block it from your mind. Harder said than done I know. It's not murder. It's a medical procedure. I won't ask why but I assume you have thought through the reasons why you are choosing to have this procedure, and if it's the right decision for you, then you're doing the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Do what's right for you and put yourself first.

Do you have anyone to talk to in real life? Girlfriends, partner, mum perhaps? They may be able to offer some advice/sympathy if not in person, at least over the phone. Sending a virtual hug either way xx

@MotherofKitties Thankyou for your reply.
I definitely won't be watching anything else online, the images keep flashing in my head but I am trying to forget about it.

It's the right choice for my family, I have 3 children youngest is one. My mental health has been suffering so I didn't make any quick decisions, but now I'm devastated it's too late for a medical.

I can't tell anyone, I feel too ashamed, my partner knows we both come to the same agreement however I'm struggling to talk out loud about it properly without crying. My only friend is dead against abortions and I don't really have a "proper mum" to talk to about my life to. I've just got to get through this and stay strong for my family.

The internet is the worst. I'm sorry you saw that. Just know you are doing whatever is best for you and your family.

I haven't had the procedure myself but I have had a miscarriage, so based purely on that there is bleeding afterwards, not much pain. A friend of mine has had the procedure and she said there was bleeding afterwards too (so I would presume this is a given regardless of how it happens), but the doctor will be able to advise what pain there will be (if any), and you'll be able to take painkillers if you need to.

If you've discussed it with your partner and have come to the conclusion this is the right thing for you and your family, and you're comfortable with that, hold on to that thought. It'll be upsetting and that's only natural, but if it's the right decision for you then try to find some peace in knowing that. Best of luck OP xx

Thankyou all for being so kind and understanding. Xx

I had a surgical termination at five weeks, they put me to sleep and I felt nothing at all. There's not usually much bleeding afterwards, I haven't had any. Try Marie stopes and planned parenthood or local equivalents for non-biased info.

I had a surgical last year and was further along than you.

DO NOT GOOGLE. I made that mistake but stopped myself very rapidly as I couldn't find much that was helpful and also felt that I couldn't see the positive of knowing the ins and outs of the actual procedure.

To answer some of your questions: I had a general anaesthetic. Myself and the other surgical ladies got to the clinic early in the morning. We did the prep (getting changed, 1 last scan, meeting the team, the put vaginal pessaries in which is marginally uncomfortable but much less so than a smear etc). Then we were taken to a calm room with large, reclining chairs and a TV to let things start to work. We were given some pain killers and a tablet and then there was a wait. There was a TV but I'd recommend taking a book or headphones to watch your phone. Come midday they started to take people down for the GA and the procedure. I can honestly say it was absolutely fine (once I got there!!) I came round and was groggy as expected but fine within 1 hour. I then had a heavy period that went on slightly longer than normal.

The worst part, for me, was the waiting for the appointments once I'd made the decision. My god it was awful. I had a lot of very, very intrusive thoughts despite KNOWING that I Coukdnt have another. My brain went absolutely haywire. I tried very very hard to block it out. I confided in a friend which helped.

I hope you're OK, please PM if you'd like some support.... I know how hard it is. Especially if you're a little further on than other people you read about, that's what I struggled with.

@ItsMischerWavy Thankyou so much for your kind words and sharing your experience. I had the procedure done two days ago and had a coil fitted at the same time. I have to say I feel like myself again already and feel relieved now.

I got changed into the socks and the paper towel and waited to be called by the team, it was very daunting walking into the theatre room with so many people there, they were asking some normal questions about how I'm feeling with the lock down , then I layed on the bed , I went deaf for a few minutes just trying to remain calm, a lady put a cannula in and then a man asked me to put my feet in the stirrups , next thing I know I had an oxygen mask on they tipped the bed back and then I woke up in a room with other women on the recliner chairs , I have no recollection of them wheeling me into the other room, I was confused and cried and then I remembered where I was. I had a hot chocolate and a biscuit and then I was asked to get changed and that was it they removed the canular and sent me on my way.

I have no pain, I just have terrible heart burn from the antibiotics, I keep having flashbacks of just before I fell asleep but other than that I feel very well.

Thank you again for being kind