Would I be making the wrong choice?

[Puglover287]

Hi,

I found out I was pregnant about a week ago and since then it’s consumed me. My partner is adamant he doesn’t want a baby anytime soon as it would ruin his life and he isn’t ready to have his life changed in that way.
I live with my partner, we’ve been together 4 years and we’re both mid 20s. It wasn’t planned but stupidly we had unprotected sex once and this is where we’ve ended up.
My partner lost it when I told him that the test was positive, started shouting at me and telling me I’ll have to get an abortion because he’s not having a baby, it’ll ruin his life etc.
I am just so confused because on one hand I didn’t want a baby anytime soon and I feel responsible for ruining my partners life if I go ahead with the pregnancy. On the other hand, I’m not sure I could emotionally cope with aborting my first pregnancy (based on his wishes I’ve started the ball rolling to have the pills sent out to me). I suppose I don’t want to feel anything positive towards the situation because that would be self-indulgent based on the fact I’d be making my partner desperately unhappy and probably ending my relationship in the process.
Does anyone have any advice please?

Whether or not you keep the baby, I really think that you need to end the relationship. Any man that shouts at you and tells you what you need to do with your own body is not a man you should be with.

Do you want the baby? Do you feel prepared to be a single mum?

You are not ruining his life either. He also chose to have unprotected sex and unless he has an usually low IQ, he will have done that knowing exactly what was likely to happen.

Yes, that is something I’m currently debating. I don’t think I’ve been able to process my own emotions over the situation because of how I’ve allowed him to make me feel.

I want the baby but I don’t know how I will be a single mum. It will involve giving up most aspects of my life currently, probably having to move out of my own home back in with my parents and just wave goodbye to the house I worked hard for as I doubt I will have the money to see that I’m bought out of the house or whatever. I can’t imagine it being amicable. I just feel very lost and trapped right now.

I just feel very lost and trapped right now.
I can image you do

Can you move back in with your parents while you try and figure out what you want? It would give you some time to think and it doesn't sound very safe for you to stay where you are,

Oh Puglover, sorry to read this.
Don’t let him force you into doing something you don’t want to do. But agree with a PP, he doesn’t sound like somebody you want to be in a relationship with.

In your heart of hearts, if you want your baby, make the brave decision. Moving in with your parents for a year or two isn’t the end of the world. I did it, and now I’m back out into my own place again.

Thank you for your kind replies.

Since initially finding out he has realised his reaction was unfair and has apologised. I appreciate that this wasn’t planned and shocked both so I do believe that he just over reacted out of fear. He’s also done a lot of research online about becoming a dad/having a baby and has said that he will support whatever decision I come to. We are getting along much better now.
Although it isn’t going to be easy either way, I think we are both able to discuss this without it being a shouting match.