Termination for abnormality seen at 12 week scan

[Cisco2]

My termination is tomorrow and I feel terribly sad anxious and guilty. Is this normal?

This is an IVF pregnancy and 3rd attempt. I had my 12 week scan on Monday and the sonographer (also confirmed by the consultant) discovered the baby has congenital Scoliosis (curved spine and missing part of the spine at the bottom) they also confirmed the baby is growing smaller than the 13 weeks.

I have sleepless nights and can't stop thinking about the baby, the scan, the procedure. No matter how much I try to distract myself.

I have booked all next week off work to recover. I try and be positive all the time but I'm struggling. I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel because right now all I see is darkness.

I have no experience but I didn't want to read and run.
I really feel for you, you are so strong and its so unfair this is happening to you.
I imagine whatever you are feeling is normal! I hope tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible. Be kind to yourself. ❤️

Goodness, this must be heartbreaking for you. Thinking of you.

I would say those are very normal feelings. I'm so sorry that you're going through this x

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You don't need to try and stay positive, it's OK to feel your real emotions and to express them.
I hope you have some support at home.

I’m very sorry you’re having to go through this.
I think you should feel exactly what you need to feel. There is no right or wrong.

I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I had a tfmr 10 years ago, at 14 weeks, and I thought I would break with the emotional pain of it. I didn't. It's a cliché but time is the great healer.

Antenatal Results and Choices are a great source of advice and support. www.arc-uk.org/

Thank you everyone for your kind words. When I wrote that post this morning I felt so so sad but this afternoon I feeling better. I guess there will be ups and downs and everyday will be different.

Thank you again

Hello just to give an update (to anyone who is interested!)

I thought it would be good to share a positive termination experience, especially as I felt so so low looking back at my original comment I posted.

Yesterday I had the procedure done at 2:15pm. My doctor was lovely, I met him before the procedure when he explained what was going to happen, risks involved and listened to my concerns. We had one final scan to say goodbye. I really really appreciated that. That was the hardest part but in some ways the most comforting to see one last time (if that makes sense).

I went in for surgery given the general anesthetic and went to sleep. When I woke up I felt sore and tender but generally ok. The doctor said it all went smoothly no complications so now it’s just monitoring me over the next few days to see that I don’t get any reactions (fever, huge loss of blood, severe pain etc).

I woke up this morning with a small bit of sadness but no longer guilt, more so feeling relieved it’s all over. I know it's going to take time to get over this. In some ways I don't think I ever will. I don't know what the future holds but I know that if this was meant to be, it would have been.

I’m glad my husband was with me there was some doubt whether he could attend and wait in the room because of coronaVirus but thankfully he was allowed.

Hoping this positive experience will help others going through the same thing and to realise that things really do get better, I’m proof of that!

Thinking of you. 🌟

So glad it was as ok as can be op, thinking of you x

I'm so glad it went well and you're felling more positive.
Take care of yourself :)

Thank you everyone for your support x