Abortion - scared and sad.

[Elliexoxo]

I recently found out I'm pregnant. Roughly 5/6 weeks. Totally unplanned.
I had my first son only 8 months ago.
I know what I have to do, for my son and my family and that is abortion. But that doesn't make it any easier. I'm scared and so sad about it.
I have a telephone consultation with BPAS tomorrow morning.
I'm aware of the process of abortion and it terrifies me. I'm worried it will be quite traumatic.
I don't know the point of this post, I don't want anyone to try and change my mind, maybe just some kind words or advice from people who have been through this. Thank you x

Hi lovely - sending you huge hugs, it’s such a worrying and super stressful time, I completely understand. But you will be absolutely fine.

I was in the same boat as you 2 weeks ago - I only just had my daughter 7 months ago and we found out I was pregnant last Sunday (used protection and totally unplanned). I was roughly 5 weeks at the time. We discussed all the pros and cons of having the baby vs termination for days and there were just more cons than pros, I spoke with my mum and a GP and going ahead with the termination just seemed the right thing for me, my husband and our little girl. It’s not a decision I made lightly and I’m so gutted I had to do it but I’ll look back and know it was the right thing.

Like you, I was absolutely terrified of the whole process and kept reading horror stories online and thought - omg I can’t do this - but honestly the actual process itself was completely fine. It was all arranged very quickly and the clinic I went to were absolutely brilliant. They made sure I had all the right medications, painkillers, instructions, chance to ask questions etc.
On the actually day, it’s the waiting to do it that’s the worst and inserting the tablets isn’t the best feeling in the world. The bleeding started very quickly after taking the tablets, I had no
pain throughout and then it all just came away which was quite hard to see but I felt instant relief afterwards. I’m not going to lie it was very hard mentally and there were a lot of tears shed. Having my husband there really helped and I took paracetamol and ibuprofen an hour before taking the tablets and then a dihydrocodeine as soon as I started bleeding which I think masked the pain completely. I just took it easy the rest of the day, had dinner and an early night - it was all a bit of a blur.

I felt some sadness the next day but the weight off my shoulders was such a relief as bad as it sounds and a nurse phoned me the next day to make sure it all went okay.

Please don’t stress about it too much, you will be ok. You’ll feel so much better once it’s all over. Happy to talk if you want to PM xxx

@Mythreeknights , and many many women come through it with sadness but with relief, aware that they made the only possible decision for their current situation, exactly as @vivian87 says.
OP has made her brave decision already.

Mythreeknights - The OP did ask that people not try to change her mind! I'm sorry that you felt regret but it doesn't mean the OP will.

OP I have had a termination albeit under different circumstances. Yes it was sad to be in that position but I only ever felt relief.

Just to add my voice here. My experience is that when you know it’s the right thing to do you don’t feel guilt. Some sadness but never a feeling that I made the wrong decision.

Hi everyone,

I am booked in with bpas tomorrow for a consultation over the phone. Does anybody know due to covid if a surgical abortion is allowed if under 10 weeks or is it only medical?

Thank you x

I’ve had a surgical and a medical abortion and neither were anything like as bad as I feared. Apparently a lot of the graphic horror stories on the internet about them are written by anti abortion groups trying to put women off from doing it.
I had the surgical one without anaesthetic and found it very painful but everyone I know who has had it with anaesthetic were completely fine.
My medical one was done at 7 weeks and I took both of the tablets at the same time and was able to go home to pass the pregnancy there. I was terrified but it didn’t feel any worse than bad period pains. I passed the pregnancy 6 hours later (couldn’t tell that it was anything other than a lump of period blood) and then I bled lightly for about 10 days after that with mild cramps.
Good luck and try to keep telling yourself that it won’t be as bad as you imagine it will x

Thank you everyone for your kind and reassuring words. It's nice to not feel judged for my decision.

@Claire0011 the midwife I spoke to who done my consultation told me that due to covid-19 they are only offering the pills to anyone under 10 weeks gestation. It's worth asking though as everyone's situation is different x

Hope you're okay.

I had my tablets posted out at the weekend and took the final tablets yesterday.
At first, I'm not going to lie, the pain was pretty bad after I took the first four tablets but BPAS sent out codeine with my tablets which took the whole pain off when I took two.

Today is just like a heavier period and no pains.

As you're as you're certain with the decision, you'll be fine.
Drop me a message if you want to chat x

@Elliexoxo when you say the midwife is only offering pills to anyone under 10 weeks due to COVID-19 what about if you are over the 10 week period what is the options then did she say?

I rang my local hospital a week and a half ago to start the process of a termination and was told I had to wait 2 weeks for a consultation so I am due to go for this on Monday. I am really worried. When I made the appointment it was 5 weeks since I had missed my period so Im going to be 7 weeks by the time I get my consultation and that's if its right. Then I don't know how long I am going to have to wait until the procedure. I feel quite lousy totally different to my previous 2 pregnancies which I followed through - I feel sick, so bloated which makes me think am I further on than I am, breasts have never been this tender. I just feel awful and can't wait for this to be over and feel normal again.

I think i will feel a lot better once I have been for the consultation and find out all the information and the way forward.

Anyone who has had the procedure done in a clinic or hospital do you have to go alone due to COVID-19.

Thanks

@blondie678 she said to me if you're over 10 weeks then you'll be invited in for a scan to confirm your gestation and then they would talk about what path to go on from there. She didn't explain any further as I'm very early on.
I was offered to take the pills at home but also to go to the clinic and do it there if I preferred.
I wanted to do it at home anyway as I'm more comfortable here then a hospital.
I think it depends on your gestation and preferences. I found BPAS very supportive and gave me all the information I needed x

@elliexoxo Thanks for your quick reply. I see. The hospital asked me how many weeks i was and i said 5 since my missed period so maybe its there procedure that everyone goes in for a consultation and has a scan regardless of how far u are.

Im sure i will feel better once i have been for that and know the way forward. I just want it to be quick and no more waiting around. These last 2 weeks just waiting for the appiointment to come round has been hard.

I hope all goes well and take care

Xx

Hi there everyone am new to hear, just wanted a bit of support.

Am 34 years old I have a 13 year old son and a 5 month old daughter and currently found out that am pregnant.

But don't think I can go through with pregnancy as am a single mum, and it's too soon with my 5 month old.

I called BPAS to have an abortion but because I have sickle trait was told that I need an iron test first.

Just been really stressful and sad for me as it's just been prolonging.

Hi OP.

I’ve had the surgical one for a missed miscarriage and it was honestly really quick and pain free. I was back at work the next day no problem.

Before that, I’d attempted the medical management but to be honest it was pretty unpleasant and worst of all didn’t actually work. Turned out the failure rate for MM was higher than I’d realised so would always recommend the surgical management.

It’s good that you’ve found out early OP and you seem pretty sure that you know what’s right for you. That should hopefully make it easier to go through, although of course you’re allowed to feel sad too. I wouldn’t hesitate to go the same route in your situation either.

Be kind to yourself and I hope you are able to get booked in soon.

@prinn20 , the way to get replies is to start your own thread, as this one is for the poster who started it, even though her problem is similar to yours.

Hi,
I just found out I'm pregnant yesterday..I have done nothing but cry. The pregnancy was totally unplanned. I have 1 DC and I never wanted anymore. My husband is okay with it but I ain't. I'm prone to anxiety and depression and I cannot see a way out of this other then terminating the pregnancy. I have a wonderful bond with my DC and I am happy with my life as it is. The thought of change makes me so upset. We ain't right financially and I've just started to go back to work doing something I've worked hard for. All this will change everything and i cannot deal with that.
I never thought id have an abortion but when I think about doing it I feel relief. I just want to be out of this situation and I can't see myself feeling happy. I don't want to sink into depression and risk my mental health. I just feel total doom as soon as I wake up. I don't know what to do!