Pregnant at 43

[blondie678]

Hello everyone

I am new to the group and need some advice. I have just found out I am pregnant its 5 weeks since my last period. Did 2 pregnancy tests and both positive, I am married with 2 children age 11 and 7. The difficult part is the child is not my husbands, it was a silly mistake that happened. Apart from the circumstances I don't want any more children so I am 100% sure about a termination. I have a consultation booked for a week on Monday but Im scared. I am ashamed about what has happened and its really important that I don't want anyone knowing about this so I am worrying about whether you have to have someone with you at your appointment as I want to do this alone and for it to be my secret which i am confident I can do. Has anyone else done this? Also with covid-19 I am not sure whether you can have anyone with you at the current time anyway. Do you have to explain at the consultation the situation how this has happened and that I don't want anyone to know. Also what is the process of the abortion pill. I am aware that you take 1 tablet and then 24-48 hours go back and take another kind of pill and that's when it all starts to happen. Do you just sit on the toilet and wait for it all to pass or do you sit on a bedpan for it to pass. How long does it tend to take and then can you go straight home after. Anyone who has been in a similar situation I would be grateful of their advice. Thanks so much

Hi, sorry to hear you are in this situation. To answer your first question you are able to go to your appointment alone. I’m not sure what the current situation is with corona virus but I had a surgical termination 6 weeks ago, just as this was all starting and I went alone due to not being able to get any childcare for my children due to corona virus and my husband needing to look after them. He dropped me off and collected me but you could go completely on your own. I think you can tell them as much or as little about your situation as you want to. I hope it all goes well for you

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post. Its very helpful. They have asked me to go to the consultation alone whereas usually you would be able to take someone with you so I am hoping this will be the same for the procedure. I hope all went well with your surgical termination. Can I ask how many weeks pregnant you were and what the process was for a surgical termination. Could you choose which procedure you wanted and what made you go for the surgical? I am not sure which one I will be going for yet. Were you just in for the day and did your husband have to come on the ward for you to collect you or could you meet him outside. At the moment I just wish it was all over and i have another week to wait until the consultation and then I am not sure how long I will have to wait for the procedure. I think I will feel a lot better once I have everything explained to me but i do appreciate the time you have taken to reply to my post so thank you