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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Advice wanted

9 replies

Unsurewhattodo79 · 09/04/2020 06:07

Hi. I split with my hubby from a 20 year relationship recently. We have two older teens (18 and 17). He has moved on swiftly into another relationship. I’ve recently had sex with the same guy a few times but he has said it’s just nsa fun. Even though I’ve taken all mini pills on time I now find myself 5 weeks pregnant 😢 He has said there is no way he wants a child with me. Initially I feel the best thing is to have an abortion however the thought of it all makes me feel so sad and uncomfortable. However the thought of having a child and starting again alone is the same. Looking for advice. My initial consultation over the phone is next week. Thanks

OP posts:

CodenameVillanelle · 09/04/2020 06:14

I don't think we can give you advice but I can say what I would do and that is terminate, without hesitation. Assuming you're late 30s or 40s the idea of raising a baby on my own at my age would be horrific and I just wouldn't do it.

Normalmumandwife · 09/04/2020 06:19

Only you can decide and of course there will be people who have experienced similar to you that made the decision to continue and would never look back. For me personally, if I had gone through what you had, with kids the age they are then I would terminate, especially with the father not wanting anything to do with it

ElizabethMainwaring · 09/04/2020 06:22

Hi op. I've asked MNHQ to move your post to an appropriate board like Pregnancy Choices.

minmooch · 09/04/2020 06:22

You might want to get this moved to Relationships where you will get more advice.

Original poster

Unsurewhattodo79 · 09/04/2020 09:49

Thank you all so much. I’m new to posting on this sort of thing. You are right I am 40 and I really am not prepared for having the baby. The thought of it all just terrifies me x

OP posts:

MNHQ

LouMumsnet · 09/04/2020 11:08

Hi there, @Unsurewhattodo79 - we're just bobbing on here to that we've moved your thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic and we hope you get some useful advice and support here.

Take care.

Original poster

Unsurewhattodo79 · 10/04/2020 09:27

Can anyone advise me as once you have had the call from BPAS what happens next? It worries me. I cannot tell my children about it all and will have to go through this alone. I want to prepare myself for the pain/what’s to come x

OP posts:

Finallyamummy · 10/04/2020 09:46

Hi @Unsurewhattodo79 I've not long since spoken to BPAS. Last week I spoke to them and they arranged a phone consultation for today. I've spoken to 2 different people today, a nurse and a midwife. They went through my medical history and reasons for terminating, went through all the possible side effects and what to expect. Then she said they'll post the pills to my house for me to take in my own time and that will be that.

I'm sorry you're in this position and struggling with what to do. I'm 36 and married but this was an unplanned pregnancy and my family is complete. I will say I'm not 100% on my decision but I doubt anyone ever is. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Original poster

Unsurewhattodo79 · 10/04/2020 09:51

Thank you so much. I’m just anxious about it all. I’m sure I’m doing the right thing for my children and my own mental health it’s just it’s hard to do it. Thanks for your advice x

OP posts:

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