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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Please no judging, this is difficult!

18 replies

LJJ90 · 06/04/2020 21:47

I am currently 18 weeks pregnant, due to corona virus etc this has been delayed a significant amount of time and I am now two days away from the procedure..

I am due to have an abortion but now being as far along as I am I am feeling a massive amount of anxiety. I have no one to talk to about the situation as this has resulted from being attacked and I do not wish for anyone to know.

Has anyone been through this this far along?!

OP posts:
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OneEpisode · 06/04/2020 21:49

Flowers for you.

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LochJessMonster · 06/04/2020 21:51

Haven’t been though it but hopefully my comment will attract some other posters.

Flowers for you. Difficult time for you. I’m sure the nurses would be more than happy to talk you through things?

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otterbaby · 06/04/2020 21:52

No advice, but I'm sorry you're going through this. Best wishes to you.

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GingerFigs · 06/04/2020 21:53

No experience, but it's your body and your decision. If it's the right decision for you, then its the right decision. Thanks

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Freee · 06/04/2020 21:53

OP, have you been able to seek any counselling since the attack? I’m so sorry you are in this situation Flowers

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DareToTiger · 06/04/2020 21:54

What a nightmare for you OP. Good luck Thanks

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Holothane · 06/04/2020 21:55

Massive hugs, get as much rest and too as you can, counselling too from the nurses.

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Merename · 06/04/2020 21:58

Have you had some counselling? I’m sure it would help for someone qualified to give you an idea of what it may be like.

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Merename · 06/04/2020 21:58

And I am so sorry for what you have experienced Flowers.

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looondonn · 06/04/2020 21:59

I feel for you

Please get professional help

This must be so hard for you

Sending you lots of hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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LJJ90 · 06/04/2020 22:05

Ahh thank you for such kind responses, I really do appreciate it.
The nurses have explained how it will be but I was just wondering if anyone had any personal experience more in terms of how they felt within themselves afterwards.

I will look into counselling as I am already riddled with guilt but I know to keep the baby would not be the right thing for me after weighing up all the options available.
Xx

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Carol1980 · 06/04/2020 22:05

www.bpas.org/


www.pregnancychoicesdirectory.com/

Here's two websites I've found that may be helpful x

I hope it helps with some advice with regards to helping you through this difficult time x

Your body your choice love x x

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catfeets · 06/04/2020 22:21

I wasn't as far along as you but was 10-11 weeks at the appointment.
I expected to have surgical but my hospital uses medical type until quite late term. I assume you're having the surgical type?

I had grown very attached to the baby despite not ever wanting children before. This meant I was devastated after the actual procedure and I didn't think I'd ever get over it. Once the hormones settled I went back to normal surprisingly quickly. I don't feel a sense of guilt as I know it was the right thing to do at the time. Please don't beat yourself up about this, it sounds like you've already been through enough.

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Iflyaway · 06/04/2020 22:28

For me, having an abortion 30-odd years ago was the best choice I made for my own future.

I made a much better life, including DS now.

Wishing you all the best, whatever you do. Flowers

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Scruffyoak · 06/04/2020 22:30

I had a surgical. I did suffer a hormone reaction after and was said but I kept in my head that it was the best thing for me and I did feel better. I do think what if sometimes but I did the best I could at the time and that's what you need to focus on. Sending love xx

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sunandrose · 07/04/2020 13:45

Oh OP I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Be kind to yourself, you’ve made the best decision for you, given the circumstances.

I’m currently trying to weigh up my options and sadly, I think I will go down the termination route. It just seems the best decision for myself and family.

I really hope you’re ok Flowers

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LochJessMonster · 08/04/2020 18:16

Thinking of you today OP Flowers

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banksy3245 · 18/04/2020 09:56

Hi OP, I have been through the exact same thing. I had an abortion at 19 weeks it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, hence why it took me so long so understand what you're feeling at the moment.

I hope you don't mind me sharing my story but:
I'm 20 years old, a Final year University student and fell pregnant quite early on into my relationship. It was a very scary time for me, my boyfriends family are in financial difficulty so they wouldn't of been able to help with the baby. Both our families are religious so they see abortion as a sin. We didn't tell any of our families, just a few friends.

We went to numerous counselling sessions as we were stuck in limbo and torn between the decision. I was more on the side of wanting to keep the baby.

I decided around Christmas time that an abortion was the best option, as I didn't want to bring my child up on benefits or live in a council house. It's not the type of life I wanted. We thought about adoption etc. But we couldn't envisage giving our baby away. I had a late medical abortion on the 22nd January in Doncaster. I was only given 24 hours to come to terms with the fact I have to give birth to my baby. (Which I wasn't told at my original consultation in Luton). The nurse held up her hands and showed me how big my baby would be, I walked out and nearly changed my mind.

It was a very traumatic experience I told one tablet on the 21st January, and then had to go into the clinic (where I stayed overnight) in which they gave me four tablets (to insert in my vagina) every four hours until the pregnancy passed. It was intense pain didn't deliver until 1:22am and I had got to the clinic at 5pm.

Please take note though at 18 weeks the baby is fully formed, it's no longer a foetus so it will look like a proper baby.

I was going to counselling sessions (after) then they referred me to therapy. However, the therapy sessions stopped because of the Coronavirus.

Obviously this is your decision OP, and no one should judge you for your decision. IMO I regret my decision as it has had an adverse effect on me, I struggle to sleep, my anxiety has hit the roof. I keep thinking what if, but I know deep down it was the right decision.

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