Hello Mumsnet! Nice to virtually meet you all. I am 13 weeks pregnant and this is my first mumsnet post.
I write to ask for some advice, insight, support?
You see, I felt like I had a birth plan that I felt comfortable with. Well, a 'plan' as far as I reasonably could. I felt ok that it might change if my baby or I were in danger.... my plan was a home water birth.
Now, with covid-19, some hospitals are closing their doors completely to home births (mine hasn't just yet) or shutting down their midwife led units (mine has). And so I feel as though, due to the epidemic, my 'plans' are being taken away from me and it's sent me into a spiral of panic.
I am not due until early October. However, my belief is that coronavirus will continue us for some time and come in waves. Maybe I'll get lucky and my birth will happen outside of the wave. Maybe I won't. There won't be a cure until next summer, most likely, so this situation definitely won't be 'over'.
I know there must be other mums out there with similar worries.. I just don't know any. So I suppose I'm reaching out to you as a community for support.
Rightly or wrongly I'm petrified to have a hospital birth. I'm scared of being left unable to make choices, or have someone I don't know and who doesn't know me. I am petrified of VEs and having my waters broken 'manually'. It all brings up a lot of previous trauma for me.
That said, I can (somewhere in my panic) appreciate that fighting the pandemic is bigger than me and my wants for my pregnancy. I feel guilty and selfish for my thoughts. I know so, so many women have hospital births and they are absolutely fine, enjoyable and positive experiences.
I need some help getting myself into that headspace. I feel really scared and upset. I don't mean to be negative, but I'd sure appreciate some support and advice on how to feel more positive, prepare myself and get to a calm place about what may or may not happen.
TIA. Hope you're all safe and well.