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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

What to do...

4 replies

sunandrose · 31/03/2020 12:29

So I’ve found out I’m pregnant. We have two healthy, beautiful children. 2.8 and 8months. It’s not planned. Financially, house wise we’d cope. It would be more than loved.

The currrent corona virus situation makes the world a very unknown and uncertain place right now.

I’m battling with myself about what is the right thing to do for us as a family. Some ‘obstacles’ can be overcome and I know that others, like the small age gap, won’t be an issue in a few years time.
I’m a control freak and I think, although I won’t admit it to myself, have some underlying anxiety issues and combined with the pandemic, my mental health isn’t as it usually is.

There’s just one thing that I can’t get past and it’s, unfortunately, what is swaying my decision. I’ve this overwhelming feeling that something would be wrong with the baby and it won’t get detected. The impact then on the lives of my other two would, to me, be devastating.

I know that other families cope. I just don’t think we would. It’s an irrational fear, I guess. Although I’m 38 and DH 51 so the risk is there...

He’s supportive but has just told me he can’t face terminating. We had a miscarriage previously and he very sadly had to deal with things that I couldn’t.... he’s never got over it.

I’m angry at us, I’m ashamed for being so careless and feel that there’s no easy solution here.

OP posts:
Noname1111 · 01/04/2020 11:45

@sunandroseSorry that I can’t give you any advice but I’m in a similar situation in the way that I’ve got anxiety issues over this Coronavirus and just can’t shake them off. I’m pregnant with my first child and I just don’t know what to do.

sunandrose · 01/04/2020 14:39

@Noname1111 oh I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that. Your first pregnancy should be such a happy, exciting time. This pandemic is just an all round rubbish situation that impacts so many aspects of life.

How far on are you? Do you have suppprt?

OP posts:
Noname1111 · 01/04/2020 14:48

Sorry you feel like you do, wish I was able to offer advice. I’m just over 6 weeks, my boyfriend keeps telling me things will get better, my mum said she will support no matter what as can see how depressed I am. Do you have any other family members to speak to?

Finallyamummy · 01/04/2020 18:35

I'm sorry you're feeling this way @sunandrose it's such s difficult time anyway, without an unexpected pregnancy. I'm in the same boat, unplanned pg no3, already have ds1 who's 5 and ds2 who's 2. Housing wise we'd manage but financially we were just about to see the light at the end of the tunnel as we get our 30 hours this year and we were starting to find things a little easier as we're coming out of the terrible 2s. The most logical thing for us to do would be to terminate but I'm struggling to accept that decision.

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