So I’ve found out I’m pregnant. We have two healthy, beautiful children. 2.8 and 8months. It’s not planned. Financially, house wise we’d cope. It would be more than loved.
The currrent corona virus situation makes the world a very unknown and uncertain place right now.
I’m battling with myself about what is the right thing to do for us as a family. Some ‘obstacles’ can be overcome and I know that others, like the small age gap, won’t be an issue in a few years time.
I’m a control freak and I think, although I won’t admit it to myself, have some underlying anxiety issues and combined with the pandemic, my mental health isn’t as it usually is.
There’s just one thing that I can’t get past and it’s, unfortunately, what is swaying my decision. I’ve this overwhelming feeling that something would be wrong with the baby and it won’t get detected. The impact then on the lives of my other two would, to me, be devastating.
I know that other families cope. I just don’t think we would. It’s an irrational fear, I guess. Although I’m 38 and DH 51 so the risk is there...
He’s supportive but has just told me he can’t face terminating. We had a miscarriage previously and he very sadly had to deal with things that I couldn’t.... he’s never got over it.
I’m angry at us, I’m ashamed for being so careless and feel that there’s no easy solution here.