Hi there. I remember your previous post, I replied and said I was in a similar situation but less far along. In the meantime I've been for a consultation and counselling at BPAS, I haven't quite made my final decision but I think I will make it in the next few days and book a termination.
I have always been hoping for a miscarriage because it would solve the issue while taking the choice away from me. If I got to the stage you're at, I expect I would also be hoping for problems to emerge at the scan. So, these feelings are not unheard of, even if relatively uncommon.
You said before that it was positive seeing the scan and you were starting to develop a bond - how do you feel about that now?
Obviously nobody can advise you what to do. And what I've come to realise is that you can't rule out the possibility of regret, whatever you choose, as there are so many unknowns. It's certainly possible that you would come to regret having an abortion. But equally here on mumsnet you can find a number of parents who, on balance, regret having children. There are no certainties in life and the fact that something involves some regret doesn't necessarily mean it was the worse option. None of this is intended as advice in either direction. But realising that regret can't be ruled out whatever you do has helped me to think more clearly about my situation.
Can you picture yourself with a baby, and then with a small child?
How do you feel about the image of yourself in ten years time with a child, and the same without a child?
If you had an abortion now, do you think you would potentially try again in the future, or would you consider it done?
I don't know if any of this is useful, but you're not alone in these feelings anyway.