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Pregnancy choices

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Early abortion questions please help

12 replies

16943389ao · 05/03/2020 00:07

Hi, I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant after my conception failed as did the morning after pill. I haven’t yet missed my period but have had a number of positive early pregnancy tests and feel pregnant too. I’m about 3.5 weeks. We only ever planned to have two children and I feel my family is already complete and while my husband is supportive of what ever I want to do we both feel that this isn’t what we planned and a third baby would put a strain on our finances and we are just starting to regain some normality after having our first two. Neither of us feel that it would be in the best interest of our family, however I feel horribly guilty. I’ve already booked an appointment for a consultation for a termination with bpas but the earliest I could get was 1.5 weeks away. Then I’ll need to wait for another appointment for the procedure. My feeling is that if I need to wait for another few weeks I’d prefer to go down the surgical route as medically managed scares me and our children are fairly young so I don’t feel home would be the ideal environment. I’m sure that a termination is the right choice but I know it’s going to become harder each week my pregnancy progresses and as the embryo develops. My main question is is there anyway of getting the tablets sooner if I go private? Would I be naive in thinking that if I took them at four weeks it would be relatively straight forward? Also does anyone know the earliest you can have a surgical abortion? Finally how long have others had to wait between a consultation and a surgical abortion? This pregnancy wasn’t planned and I’m devastated I’m in this position but don’t feel that continuing the pregnancy out of guilt is a good enough reason so I’m wanting to terminate it as soon as I can before I become more emotionally invested and before the embryo grows any more. I already have some nausea and the idea of being pregnant for another few weeks while the embryo develops is breaking me.

OP posts:
oreoxoreo · 05/03/2020 12:17

Sorry you are in this situation. I am in similar boat, 41 yo, 3rd unplanned pregnancy with boyfriend.
I went to Marie Stopes at around 4 weeks and it was too early, they couldn't see it on the scan. Otherwise I would have done it there and then without a question. They put me on a 12 day wait to reach 6 weeks so they can see it on the scan. I tried calling for private clinics to see if anyone would do medical before 6 weeks but no they cannot, they must see it on a scan to ensure it is not ectopic.

So my termination appointment is in an hour and I've spent 12 days doubting, guilt tripping, rowing with boyfriend, dreaming of the baby and going back and forth. I am still planning to go ahead unless I totally chicken out in the appointment, but I get where you say the wait is emotionally too hard.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

minipie · 05/03/2020 12:29

I had to wait until 9 weeks iirc for a surgical termination, I believe it’s something to do with needing the foetus to be a certain size. This was a long time ago though so may have changed.

Might be worth calling Marie Stopes and seeing if they could help earlier - from their website it seems like once they have seen it on a scan they can give you the first pill straight away rather than you having to come back again.

16943389ao · 06/03/2020 22:08

Thank you for your replies, for some reason I didn’t get the notifications that anyone had replied.

@oreoxoreo I’m so sorry you are / were in the same situation. Sending you lots of love. How did yesterday go? It’s so tough isn’t it. I hope you’re doing ok. @minipie I managed to speak to Marie Stopes just after I posted, there isn’t one in our area but I could travel if they could do it sooner. Like it’s been said though I need to wait until six weeks for a consultation with them. Bpas could have offered me the medical option next Friday when I’d be just five weeks but I really can’t face that and don’t want my little ones at home while I go through the process. I already have nausea so finding it hard to try and pretend this isn’t happening. I know it wouldn’t be right for our family to have this baby but also keep thinking of newborns, they seem to be everywhere too. I’ve spoken to one of my closest friends who has been really supportive but don’t really know what anyone’s view on abortion is so daren’t mention it to anyone else. The wait while continuing to grow our baby is horrible 😢.

OP posts:
oreoxoreo · 06/03/2020 22:34

It will be ok. I did it and physically much easier than I thought it will be. Emotionally it's hard any way, but if you anything like me you will just want to move on with your life. Do not overthink, these things happen all the time to a lot of women.

16943389ao · 07/03/2020 12:55

@oreoxoreo sending you love. Glad all went well physically. It’s bound to be hard emotionally but sounds like you’ve made the right choice for you. I’m realising just how many people this happens to. Hope you recover quickly x

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MrsGythaOgg · 08/03/2020 21:32

I went through NUPAS for mine and I was given it the same day as the consultation. I had my first appointment at about 12pm then went back again at 4pm where they administered both pills. I was 5+6. They gave me pain meds, and the pain was very mild during the whole process. I could do normal things, didn't feel like I was confined to bed or anything.

stargazer22 · 11/03/2020 08:44

Hi I have had a private abortion with b pas I phoned on the Monday had an appointment on the Wednesday took the tablet there and then took home the other tablets you need to complete it which you Insert a day later at home and it was done by the Friday x

anonacatchat · 11/03/2020 08:45

I had a surgical at week 5 and it was totally fine .

Wouldn't have medical after hearing about friends experiences with pain !

Take care

anonacatchat · 11/03/2020 08:48

Sorry to give insight on timeframe I went to a clinic on the Wednesday and asked for a cancellation anywhere in the Uk and was seen on the Friday in another city .

I went private though and paid around £1200

anonacatchat · 21/03/2020 22:57

Hope you're ok 💗 I had a surgical at 5-6 weeks as they could see it via Marie Stopes . Was a positive experience for me and the teams were amazing xx

Feel free to PM

16943389ao · 28/03/2020 14:14

Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply and thanks so much @anonacatchat. My notifications don’t seem to be working. I managed to get a cancellation for a telephone consultation with bpas and a surgical appointment the week after. I had the procedure almost two weeks ago at five weeks. I found the procedure hard as it was only done with local anaesthetic as I would have had to have waited much longer for an appointment with sedation but it was over quickly and my recovery has been straight forward so far though I will be relieved when I’m a few more weeks down the line and I know everything is ok. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to reply x

OP posts:
Mamof · 10/03/2021 01:10

@16943389ao just read your post, how are you doing? I've just been through similar experience x

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