Early pregnancy abortion questions?

[LotsToThink]

I found out on Wednesday I am pregnant ( about 4/5 weeks. ) My partner has said that what every I decide to do he will support me but would prefer to have an abortion because the timing isn't right and the lack of finance.

I don't know what to do for the best, it's still sinking in what's really happening. I feel so so guilty about getting into this situation, and I'm really scared about having the abortion and regretting it afterwards.

Would anyone be able to tell me sort of what happens through an abortion.

Does it harm your body in anyway, like stopping you from having children later on, or anything like that?

Try the Marie stopes website. It’s very good.

But in brief: you have the choice out of a medical or surgical procedure. Neither will be performed without an ultrasound confirming the pregnancy is in the right place. They also like to confirm viability as if it appears unviable then they prefer to let you miscarry due to your mental health and also cost.

You won’t get it before 6-8 weeks depending on waiting times in your local area.

The most important thing here really is your mental health. I had a termination many years ago for all of the right reasons - we weren’t ready, our relationship wouldn’t survive it, I was studying, financially it was a bad idea etc etc. However it continues to plague me and I’ve never gotten over it. I doubt I ever will. I’m not saying if I could go back I would keep the baby. If that was a possibility I’d never get pregnant in the first place! But sometimes there is no right answer - you have to do whatever you feel is right with the information you have at the time.

Thank you SocialMediaUser1511 that has helped, and I will have a look at the website. That's exactly how I feel at the moment as though there isn't a right choice . I just wish it never happened in the first place. I know if I do go along with it it's going to be the hardest thing and I'm worried about how I would cope afterwards.

When they do the ultrasound will they allow me to see the screen at all or will it all be kept hidden?

You've told us about how your partner feels about it, but how do you feel? (Apart from guilty - for which there is no need. You didn't 'get into this situation' alone. And one thing there is no place for in this, however you decide, is guilt)

I've never had a termination, but I have had a number of ERPC procedures for miscarriage and medical management, and these are effectively the same procedures as surgical and medical termination respectively. There are (very small) risks to any procedure, but in the vast, vast majority of cases, they do not cause any damage and they do not impact future fertility.

I booked my first termination appointment but cancelled it, made a 2nd one and got as far as the scan and couldnt go through with it after seeing the screen. I was 10wks at that appointment. I then sat down and made a list of pros and cons of the pregnancy (my 2nd) and the cons were more than the pros. I had my termination at 12wks 5 days before xmas just gone and while i do still feel a wee bit sad about it at points it was the right decision for me and for my ds that i have already. The procedure was fine and i had no major effects just heavier bleeding after it and a uti. I hope you make the right decision for you that is made by you alone, that was the big thing for me in between the 2nd appt and the final one that id took the time to reach my own decision off my own back and didnt feel like others had made it for me
Sorry that was a longer than intended post 🙈

Lotstothink i was still undecided at the appt that i saw the screen but i had asked to see. The screen is always otherwise turned away and you wont see anything. The scan is to confirm how far along you are as to whether its a medical or a surgical termination. I was a medical termination and took a tablet on the wednesday to end the pregnancy and the friday i was in til everything passed.

I had a surgical procedure a good few years ago. I knew I was doing the right thing and I have never regretted it.

I thought about what kind of life that baby would have. I was very young, only had a shit part-time job, lived in rented accommodation and it's life would have been shit. Is your financial situation really the only issue? How bad is it?

I knew if I ever had a baby, I wanted it to have a happy, healthy, secure home. That's what I have now with my dd (3yo).

Thank you all for your replies. To be honest I really don't want to go through with a termination, I keep thinking about the money side of things there is practically nothing, I don't want to not be able to provide for my child but then I also keep thinking, things could change before it arrived.

With a medical termination is it one tablet you swallow? When I go on Google it says about a pessary as well.

How did you cope mentally afterwards,was it easier then you thought? I do have depression already and think this isn't going to help matters.
Thank you for your help everyone it really means a lot...and sorry for the long post!

Hi OP, I am halfway through a medical termination. I want children, but not now. The first pill is swallowed in the clinic and tomorrow morning I will insert the 4 tablets to expel the pregnancy, that's the hard bit!

Everyone reacts differently. For me, I feel relieved. A little guilty but I remind myself that it's no more than a blob, cannot feel pain and I would not be able to give it the best. For me, this is the right thing and I know it.

With all the risks they read our to me, death & hysterectomy due to infection was mentioned (1 in 100,000 I think) but they didn't even mention difficulty conceiving in future. In fact, I've been put on extra contraception!

breakfastatlitanies sending you the tablets and the suppositry felt strange going in but not too bad as the first lot is the only lot inserted. I had my first lot at 945 then and 2nd lot at 1245 and i passed the pregnancy at 215. I actually looked when it passed and what was in the bedpan looked nothing like i expected certainly didnt look like a "baby" baby that id built up in my head.
Id of been 23wks tomorrow but while i feel a wee bit sad (only natural im human after all) i feel immense relief i did the right thing but ill not forget the wee one i carried for those 12wks

I hope you don't mind me sharing, but having gone through an abortion myself, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Honestly, I regret my decision and don't think it was worth it. I was 19+3 when I had my abortion. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but there are other options such as adoption.

One thing they always told me at the abortion clinic is most women feel relieved after. They don't tell you that you the other side of that (depression, anxiety etc.)

At the end of the day the decision is yours and yours only. Don't do something that you will end up regretting (I wish I had followed my heart). If your heart is telling you to keep the baby, please keep it! You will never regret bringing a precious life into this world.

Hi OP, how are you doing?

Having experienced the full abortion now, I feel I can tell you it was not as traumatic as I was expecting. I am doing okay. I did view the screen as I wanted to give myself every chance to make the best decision for me. Looking at what was barely a blob.. I knew I had made the right choice for me. You do not have to look though. You will have a handhold from me no matter what you choose, it is a very hard time 

Thank you @macaroniandpizza for , very kind of you