So I just joined this as I have no one I feel I can talk to and I don't know, I guess I need reassuring.
Two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with number 4. My relationship with my children's dad is not good. It's a long story but I really don't want to have another baby with this man.
I truly believe I wouldn't cope with another baby plus my other 3, especially financially and I don't want my others to suffer because I had another baby. My youngest is nearly two and I was looking forward to being able to have a bit of life back. I'm also looking for a place to live for me and my kids. I just know it would be a struggle all round.
The dad and I haven't really discussed it, I told him I was pregnant but was clear I did not plan on keeping it, I guess he thinks I'm heartless but I am really in an awful living situation. He is a nightmare to live with, he's aggressive and moody, he says the most awful things to me, berates me Infront of the kids, has cheated and lied and broke me down. I cant tie myself to him further by having another baby with him
But I feel sad about it. I didn't feel upset when I found out I was pregnant, I feel ashamed I'm in this situation and that this seems like the only option I have. My appointment is booked for this week. I feel sad because it's something that a lot of people are happy about (when it happens to them) I feel sad that the person I have had children with is a monster, I feel sad that I haven't made better choices.
It's like I know it's the right thing to do, but I still feel so confused about it.
I'm not sure what I expect anyone to say, I just wanted to let out how I feel.
Thank you of you took the time to read this