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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Pregnant with 4th

6 replies

ruhcima · 21/01/2020 14:19

So I just joined this as I have no one I feel I can talk to and I don't know, I guess I need reassuring.
Two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with number 4. My relationship with my children's dad is not good. It's a long story but I really don't want to have another baby with this man.
I truly believe I wouldn't cope with another baby plus my other 3, especially financially and I don't want my others to suffer because I had another baby. My youngest is nearly two and I was looking forward to being able to have a bit of life back. I'm also looking for a place to live for me and my kids. I just know it would be a struggle all round.
The dad and I haven't really discussed it, I told him I was pregnant but was clear I did not plan on keeping it, I guess he thinks I'm heartless but I am really in an awful living situation. He is a nightmare to live with, he's aggressive and moody, he says the most awful things to me, berates me Infront of the kids, has cheated and lied and broke me down. I cant tie myself to him further by having another baby with him
But I feel sad about it. I didn't feel upset when I found out I was pregnant, I feel ashamed I'm in this situation and that this seems like the only option I have. My appointment is booked for this week. I feel sad because it's something that a lot of people are happy about (when it happens to them) I feel sad that the person I have had children with is a monster, I feel sad that I haven't made better choices.
It's like I know it's the right thing to do, but I still feel so confused about it.
I'm not sure what I expect anyone to say, I just wanted to let out how I feel.
Thank you of you took the time to read this

OP posts:
tobee · 21/01/2020 17:07

Hi sorry that you're going through this!

However, you might do better asking Mumsnet to move this to relationships or pregnancy choices?

tobee · 21/01/2020 17:08

Do better in terms of volume of responses I mean x

ruhcima · 21/01/2020 18:01

Hi, yes I realised it was on the topic under the one I selected, I'm new here and don't know how to move it?

OP posts:
LilyMumsnet · 21/01/2020 18:17

Hi OP,

We're just moving your thread over to our pregnancy choices topic. Flowers

laidbackllama · 22/01/2020 08:13

You are in a really tough situation. Your circumstances aren't good right now and I can understand that makes everything so much harder. You have to do what you feel is right for you and your children you have already. I'm so sorry you're in such a bad relationship and I can completely appreciate that you don't want any more children with this man. I don't blame you for feeling that way. Accidents happen, try to be kind to yourself and don't ever feel guilty about doing what's best for you x

Mythreeknights · 14/02/2020 12:57

My only advice, having aborted my 4th pg, is not to do it if you are not 100% sure it's what you want. It's pretty hard living with the regret.

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