My partner and I recently found we are expecting. ( Due 21/08/22) We had just decided our family was complete and scheduled a snip. We have been together quite some time and have 3 children already. My extended family seems to be very anti child. When I announced the upcoming birth of my 3rd child many rude remarks were made about hoping we were getting fixed and how I was going to just keep getting fatter. This ended up causing a lot of tension and ruined relationships with family members I was once close with. This makes me very nervous of announcing another child, which should be a joyful occasion. When it comes to a support system my partner and I are very much on our own. We live hours from family and don't know many in our area as we just moved here about 6 months ago. Other than this we can financially/emotionally carry the burden of another child. I was initially very upset as we had just started enjoying hobbies that allow an identity outside of parenthood that we could not continue with a small child. I was also looking forward to aiming towards an new career that I could no longer.
I had ordered the medicine to do a home termination and have been waiting for it to arrive. Since this time I have done a ton of reading on it and the physical and emotional pain and uncertainty of taking the medication at home absolutely terrifies me.
I've also had a bit of time to wrap my head around a future that is slightly different than I had initially been visioning.
I am so terribly split in thought and haven't really had anyone to talk with about it other than my partner as many I know are not comfortable with terminations beyond medical reasons. Any outside perspective or advice on the matter is greatly appreciated.