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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Pregnancy and alcohol.

27 replies

Tuxxjo · 04/12/2019 07:56

Ok, I have read several threads about mothers and their choices with alcohol while pregnant, but now its my turn to post. Early on in my pregnancy I read that women have chosen to have alcohol while pregnant. Since then so I have I. However, I am now concerned about it. Throughout the past few months a had a few days (not necessarily in a row) of having beer more than one but not several, wine, I have had two glasses in one night and then just recently I had a rum drink and then eggnog while on holiday.

I just read some stories about mothers who have had babies that unfortunately had negative effects of alcohol from pregnancy and I am concerned.

I really haven't had much never drunk but honestly have felt tipsy. The night I had felt it more I immediately ate some food which was filling and greasy. Perhaps to take away the effects of alcohol I was feeling.

Nevertheless, I am feeling nervous about my baby and pregnancy at this point. I also can feel the pressure and stress of the idea of making a strict "you have to not have any alcohol now" choice.. like making that statement in my head feels so constricting.. I don't want to feel like im in a box but also don't want to make any bad decisions that could effect my baby and me..

Please, advice, encouragement, guidance.. thank you.

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Winterdaysarehere · 04/12/2019 07:58

Imo abstaining from alcohol is the first 'sacrifice' you make as a dm.
If you are falling at the first hurdle are you sure having a dc is th right thing at this time?

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Tuxxjo · 04/12/2019 08:01

Btw im almost 5 months

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PurpleDaisies · 04/12/2019 08:04

You’re best talking to your midwife or consultant about this. They can help support you in reducing your alcohol consumption. Alcohol free beers are really nice these days, especially Becks Blue.

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Tuxxjo · 04/12/2019 08:04

Also, please note Im not considering termination.

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DieHardISaChristmasFilm · 04/12/2019 08:08

Agree with speak to your midwife, there will be people who assist with alcohol and drug issues in pregnancy.

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DieHardISaChristmasFilm · 04/12/2019 08:10

If you aren't considering termination, then stop now, and be alert for any issues for your child so they can get early support. What else can you do?

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Solihooley · 04/12/2019 08:11

I’m all for having a small wine once per week but I do think it’s advisable to abstain for the 1st 12 weeks, and you shouldn’t be drinking enough to feel tipsy. I thought this was always the advice even before they changed it to zero units. If I were you I’d be very mindful about how many units you’re having per time from now on, make sure it’s only 1 or 2. I also think if your feeling uneasy about it it might be better to abstain, but only you can decide that. Realistically, if you have drunk what you say you probably won’t have caused any damage. It’s all unknown of course, we don’t really know if alcohol can be linked to other problems/ conditions but FAS is very rare (I think it only appears in a small % of children whose mothers have drunk very heavily).

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Ginandgingers92 · 04/12/2019 08:13

I love a drink, but I didn't struggle at all the give up alcohol when pregnant, for me it was just about doing what was best for my child. They said the odd glass won't hurt, but I still wouldn't, because then you fall into the conundrum of when does an odd glass become too many, become just regular drinking. To put it simplistically, alcohol isn't good for a developing baby; please do all you can to stop. Agree with a PP that beck blue is a good alcohol free option! Don't do seedlip gin though... that's a poor imitation!

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mywrencalls · 04/12/2019 08:15

I don't drink and never have, yet even I know about foetal alcohol syndrome and such.
Sorry but why on earth would anyone drink during pregnancy? It's 9 months out your life where you have to make a few sacrifices.
How weird and selfish

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Herewego93 · 04/12/2019 08:15

You really need to stop. Alcohol syndrome is a thing. Just because you don't feel drunk doesn't mean that's not effecting the baby as much. I understand how some people have a sip here and there but two glasses of wine sounds like a lot. I only have a bit in my cooking as in theory hope I'm burning alcohol away. The midwife will say no amount of alcohol has been proven safe as that's new advice I'm also pregnant right now. so they won't really be able to reassure you as much but hopefully they can help you stop drinking. Like someone else has said it's one the sacrifices you make. There's alcohol free stuff if you struggle with social drinking. Alcohol free beers ect that taste same just won't give you that tipsy feeling. Sorry to sound harsh.

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Tuxxjo · 04/12/2019 08:18

Im definitely not opposed to not drinking. Thats the best choice. And yes alcohol free beer sounds nice. Thanks for your input everyone.

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firstimemamma · 04/12/2019 08:19

"However, I am now concerned about it."

Remove the concern from your mind and give up drinking. Yes you might feel 'constricted' but the baby is more important. Sorry as I suspect that wasn't what you wanted to hear.

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Babyg1995 · 04/12/2019 08:21

I can't understand women who can't give up alcohol for 9 months of there lives .
Op you really need to speak to your midwife asap to stop the drinking they can help you I'm 5 months with my 3rd I absolutely love a drink but the day I found out I was pregnant that was it no alcohol at all I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened and my baby's health is top priority.

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Herewego93 · 04/12/2019 08:24

I think reason they say no alcohol now is because everyones idea of a glass of wine would varey so much and then people would think another wouldn't hurt ect that's what they were saying in my antenatal class. Had one person say they only have a sip when they're in the hot tub Hmm and another who thought alcohol pops were okay so it's best to just stay clear of it all. Will make it easier if you then go on and breastfeed too.

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Ginandgingers92 · 04/12/2019 08:28

@Herewego93 in the hot tub?! 😱😱😱😱😱 oh goshh 🙈🙈

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LauraLooDerby · 04/12/2019 08:35

Ah, the judgement Hmm
NHS advice is no more than 1-2 units, once or twice a week, after the first trimester. So a small-ish glass of wine, or a can of lager. At 5 months, you are at less risk than first trimester.
Midwife has even told me directly to 'go home and have a nice glass of wine' when I said I was feeling stressed/worried about something.
Numerous reports and research pieces come back with varying results on moderate alcohol consumption - mainly due to the expectant mothers also smoking, taking drugs etc.
Emily Oster's research leads her to say a small drink each day will not harm the baby - you have to bear in mind that the alcohol is processed by your body, then has to go through the placenta (which absorbs so much shit it's unbelievable).

BUT I agree with PP that the only way to stop the fear or the worrying is to not drink at all.

For transparency - I am 39 weeks today 🎉 and have abstained for most of the pregnancy, aside from the occasional glass of wine or can of lager - I actually found that once I started experimenting with different cordials, I went off the idea of drinking non-alcoholic alcoholic drinks (Robinson's peach and raspberry cordial is delicious!!). But I have treated myself to a small-ish glass of red once a week.

All this bollocks about 'if you can't do it now, what sort of mother are you going to be' is pure sanctimonious bullshit and you need to take your pearls and shuffle away.

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StylishMummy · 04/12/2019 09:59

I had a 175ml glass of Merlot every week there or thereabouts and my obstetric consultant was well aware and said in such small quantities it wouldn't affect the baby at all. Both DC born early for unrelated reasons but good weights and absolutely 0 effect.

Several glasses of wine/bottles of beer isn't good, but complete denial isn't necessary. If you're concerned, stop. If not, indulge occasionally with 1 drink

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Babyg1995 · 04/12/2019 10:15

Im absolutely shocking a midwife would advise anyone to go home and have a glass of wineXmas Confused

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Juanmorebeer · 04/12/2019 10:34

I posted on here around 3 yrs ago worried about my friend who was drinking in pregnancy. She was drinking more than you say here, I saw her drink over half bottles of wine per day with meals, 'one' glass of prosecco that would be topped up a few times so not litre of vodka a day type stuff but also not nothing.

It was pointed out to me on here that if that was what she was drinking infront of people in a social setting then infact it could have been even more. Who knows.

What did happen though is that her baby was born wirh a severe ear abnormalitiy, it didn't develop in the womb and no ear canal on that side so her child is deaf.

I don't of course KNOW this was caused by drinking. She has had it confirmed that it is definitely not genetic though.

So I used to be the kind of 'one or two won't hurt occasionally' type. But if it was me I would not risk it for worrying that is what did actually cause my friend's baby's disibility.

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LauraLooDerby · 04/12/2019 10:56

@Babyg1995 to be fair I was a bit surprised!!

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Tuxxjo · 04/12/2019 23:50

Not necessarily what i didn't want to hear. Thank you for your reply.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 05/12/2019 00:00

Alcohol free drinks have never been better. Becks Blue is great, stock up on Nosecco or Bees Knees bubblies for Christmas. The days of nothing but lemonade or awful tooth itching schloer are long gone.

Drinking so much you feel tipsy when you’re pregnant is daft and if you’re struggling to stop before then you need to stop completely. You’re over half way there, your baby is growing fast and he or she is dependent on you for everything they need.

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Obsidian77 · 05/12/2019 00:04

Why did you choose to have alcohol while pregnant?
Not judging, but it's hard to know your reasoning.

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kelkel80 · 20/12/2019 17:34

I recently found out I'm pregnant I am now 5 weeks.

I am 39 and it's been a surprise.

The problem is I drank every day up to a bottle of wine until I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks.

I am so worried I have damaged my baby I am seriously considering an abortion.

Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do ?

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ginandgingers92 · 21/12/2019 11:17

@kelkel80 , as far as I'm aware and have read, during those early stages of pregnancy, the baby gets nourishment from the yolk sack, rather than the placenta, so in terms of how much effect the alcohol consumption has had on the baby, I think it's likely to be minimal. A lot of women with longer cycles don't even miss a period until they're 4/5weeks anyway. It may be worth checking with a GP, but I think it will be ok if you've cut down/put now :)

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