Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

How to live life after a much regretted abortion

11 replies

Star37 · 01/12/2019 09:28

Hi, I'm looking for some advice, I had a much regretted abortion in september and was devastated after, the reasons I had at the time seem so stupid now, I really struggled at first but somehow started to think slightly less about it, it still made me sad but I didnt cry all the time I'd say the rawness had got better, but now I feel like I'm back to square one!! My work colleuge has just announced she is pregnant! And I feel like I have been hit by a train! Like my heart has been ripped out my chest!! I know this is the wrong way to feel as she has went through alot to get where she is and I am so happy for her! I just wasnt prepared for how I was going to feel! I feel so guilty that im not excited for her, I find it hard being in the same room! I know that's terrible but its how I feel, it's her special time and I'm just putting a dampener on it by being a miserable cow! She doesnt know what happened. I just feel so alone in this situation my partner is good he tries to be positive, but he doesnt really feel what i do, I also told another work colleuge when i first found out I was pregnant and that I wasnt sure what to do, once I said I didnt know what to do I herd more cons about continuing with the pregnancy, I really needed to hear more positive advice now looking back, but at the end of the day im a grown adult and it was all my choice! I'm just struggling with the guilt of what I let myself do! Who even does this!! I just think that if alot of women end up feeling as I do, (I have read alot of posts online) why is it still aloud to happen! Will I ever feel happy again? Sorry for such a long rant but just needed to voice it to someone!

OP posts:
ZAK3 · 01/12/2019 21:43

PM’d you x

Inferiorbeing · 09/12/2019 21:02

I feel just like this, I'm not sure what to do but I'm struggling so much

ZAK3 · 09/12/2019 22:50

Its so sad to know there are lots of us going through this together 💔, have u already had it done or are you trying to decide what to do? X

Inferiorbeing · 10/12/2019 11:00

I've already done it, just regretful now.. I know it was the right thing but it hurts

WooMaWang · 10/12/2019 11:12

It sounds like you need to access some counselling to help you to come to terms with this. What is done is done (and it's clear from your post that you thought it through carefully and had good reasons, however you feel about those reasons now). You need some support to process it and to learn to be a bit kinder to yourself about it.

You can definitely be happy again.

Does your workplace provide access to counselling? That might be quicker than going through your GP.

ZAK3 · 10/12/2019 11:13

Im exactly the same & have been speaking to @Star37 aswell, Have you got a supportive partner/husband? I think you just focus so much on getting everything arranged & feel like you’re having to make a quick decision that when its actually done its a whole different ball game, if i knew what I would go through mentally I would turn the clock back for sure, hope ur ok

Star37 · 10/12/2019 21:09

Hi, I am feeling a bit less emotional about my friends baby news I think now that I have got used to the situation. I am really happy for her, I've just been taking ech day as it comes I'm not saying in anyway that I'm over what I done or even happy but I do feel time has helped me, and i know it will hit me hard at certain times, but I'm really hoping that when these days come I'm strong enough to overcome the emotion! I did a horrible thing that i would do anything to change but I cant and i need to learn to look forward not back how ever hard that is, I hope that I will maybe learn to like myself one day again.

I hope @WooMaWang you have some support to help you heal it takes a lot of time and you have to grieve to help yourself, u need to allow your self to cry I have done alot of that! It's the worst situation I have ever found myself in! And I totally sympathise with how you feel! But I do believe u will get better x

OP posts:
Star37 · 10/12/2019 21:11

Oh sorry @WooMaWang I just quickly read the last few posts, was ment for @Inferiorbeing. Sorry x

OP posts:
Inferiorbeing · 11/12/2019 17:01

Thank you- it just feels so sad and awful, my partner is supportive but he knows it was the right thing and is a lot more rational than me so can reason it..

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 12/12/2019 06:06

I had a termination back in 2006 for what seemed like good reasons at the time, although I wasn't 100% about it. I regretted it the moment i had done it and had very miserable few years - in hindsight, I wish I had have had counselling, so definitely seek it out. It's now almost 14 years later and although I still regret it, I don't really think about or dwell on it anymore at all. Time is a healer, but until them, counselling is a good idea I think

FettuciniAlaFagiola · 12/12/2019 06:18

Itsstill fresh but you will be ok and time is a great healer. Get counselling.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page