Hi, I'm looking for some advice, I had a much regretted abortion in september and was devastated after, the reasons I had at the time seem so stupid now, I really struggled at first but somehow started to think slightly less about it, it still made me sad but I didnt cry all the time I'd say the rawness had got better, but now I feel like I'm back to square one!! My work colleuge has just announced she is pregnant! And I feel like I have been hit by a train! Like my heart has been ripped out my chest!! I know this is the wrong way to feel as she has went through alot to get where she is and I am so happy for her! I just wasnt prepared for how I was going to feel! I feel so guilty that im not excited for her, I find it hard being in the same room! I know that's terrible but its how I feel, it's her special time and I'm just putting a dampener on it by being a miserable cow! She doesnt know what happened. I just feel so alone in this situation my partner is good he tries to be positive, but he doesnt really feel what i do, I also told another work colleuge when i first found out I was pregnant and that I wasnt sure what to do, once I said I didnt know what to do I herd more cons about continuing with the pregnancy, I really needed to hear more positive advice now looking back, but at the end of the day im a grown adult and it was all my choice! I'm just struggling with the guilt of what I let myself do! Who even does this!! I just think that if alot of women end up feeling as I do, (I have read alot of posts online) why is it still aloud to happen! Will I ever feel happy again? Sorry for such a long rant but just needed to voice it to someone!