Abortion as a MOTHER, struggling massively

[ZAK3]

Hello , I cannot even believe im writing this as never in a million years did i think this would be me but a few days ago I had a surgical Abortion & I honestly don’t know how to cope im a complete mess, I have 3 children already & would have always loved a 4th everyone knew that. Ultimately My Hubby didn’t want this and treated me terribly for the first few couple of weeks of finding out, how i got through those inital weeks I honestly dont know, his main reasoning was living space money & the fact he didn’t want anymore, my mind was absolutely torn whilst feeling very ill it was all just going too fast , morally i feel everyone should be able to make their own choices but i never ever agreed with abortion for me personally & cannot believe ive done it, i feel physically sick when i think about what ive done , i got a scan picture which i opened the day after & ive even written A letter to he/she explaining everything & my feelings & believe me i feel horrific , im shocked & disgusted at myself , ive arranged some phone counselling but if anyone has or is going through similar I would appreciate your thoughts , sorry for the really long post

Hello, I haven’t been through similar but didn’t want you to go unanswered. You don’t need to feel shocked and disgusted at yourself, you haven’t done anything wrong. Your DH shouldn’t have pressurised you, it should have been your decision. Did you have counselling at the clinic? How is your DH now, if you tell him how you feel will he be supportive and sympathetic?

Doesn,t Brooke advisory service provide counselling? I think you def need to talk about it. I see where your coming from but you have to look at why you chose those reasons in the first place. But don,t ignore your feelings as depression after abortion does happen.

Hi minipie thats so sweet that even though you haven’t been through similar you took the time out to reply , it will be through the clinic by phone as would have to travel far if i wanted it face to face as not many local counsellors I guess unfortunately, he now is being sympathetic & kind of supportive but only because Ive gone through with what he wanted , he said he didn’t feel relief but deep down & i told him this that i know he must, meanwhile im in complete devastation, just cannot believe its all over , I honestly think now the pregnancy fog has cleared, the regret i feel will never go away, ive got wonderful family & friends that have been so supportive but sadly i feel completely at a loss & although im physically there for my kids mentally i am not , i know everyone says time is a healer but under this big black cloud im unable to see anything bright right now or forseeable future xxx

June 2007 , im not sure they probably do, what I really wanted was to have it pre abortion but seems they can’t really get involved , I know the factors why I did but all seems so insignificant now & think I wasn’t thinking straight in the hormonal pregnancy fog x

Hi I have just posted a similar thread today not had any feed back but hopfully someone will!

I'm really sorry, I was in the exact same position 3 kids also and now when I look back like you was in a pregnancy hormonal fog had a panick thought to much about everyone else and how it would impact there lives and never thought enough about what i want but that's hindsight for you! I struggled at the beginning cried every day, struggled so much to even get out of bed but had to for my kids! Then the rawness eased but as i posted in my thread I have ended up back to square one! Feel like I've been stabbed in the heart a work colleuge has announced she is preggers! And I just wasnt prepared for how I would feel! I feel so guilty for feeling gutted especially as she has tried for a long time and I am really happy for her but find it so hard to smile! I just hope that maybe in time it will get better but right now I dont see how or when! Sorry this prob isnt much help but just wanted you to know that you are not on your own in the way you feel!!