Hi
I posted on her a while ago regarding my termination which was in August 2018.. basically my partner at the time now ex wasnt supportive went awol and I had termination he didn’t come with me and I have regretted it ever since. If he’d have reacted differently I’d have 100 percent kept the baby.
Since the termination me and ex did try and get back together several times but things just got worse and worse and so toxic as I never really Forgave him for not supporting me. We are now completely not together however do have low contact but I have dated other ppl.
I just feel like I can’t get over my abortion.. I’m turning 30 soon and I know ppl will say it’s so young but I didn’t think I’d be living alone single with no children at this age. I am triggered everywhere I can’t watch any programmes involving babies and pregnancy and I feel like I envy pregnant women when I see them. Just saw 999 what’s your emergency On tv which was a child birth episode and I had to turn it off thus triggering me to write this post.
I imagine all the time what it would be like now with me and my ex if I had the baby.. i imagine the set up in my flat and where the babies stuff would be.. I think about it all the time. I don’t talk about it to my friends anymore Cos I feel they don’t understand they see it as a good thing I’m
Not attached to my ex and when I mention the abortion I feel like they just mention my ex .. but it isn’t about him it’s about how I feel about the baby. I feel like they think I should be over It as my ex wasn’t a great partner.
Don’t know why im writing on here just need to vent really.. as I don’t feel like anyone understands.. I did have conselling but it wasn’t from the clinic it was through work and i didn’t find it helpful.. I worry that was my only chance to have a baby and I made a wrong decision