I agree you should try not to get dressed until you're sure. Then I think if you are, you should talk to your husband. There are two of you here - you aren't alone. And then you've got the dilemma, so just try to focus on what you know for sure. You feel you couldn't cope. Strong reason fir not going ahead. But you've had problems conceiving/maintaining a pregnancy. If you terminate, nobody can whether the pregnancy would have gone to full term, but also whether you'll get to have another baby ever.
I think you have to choose the least bad from the potential bottom line scenarios.
If you have the baby, what's the worst outcome of not being able to cope? Depression/breakdown/losing job/financial catastrophe/end of marriage/impact on first child?
What could he done to help? Is there support (I guess yes?)?
If you terminate, there's the temporary incapacity/hormone change/probable grieving. All do-able (sort of - not for me as I couldn't, but many on here say they are fine with it, so you may be too).
Then the worst case is in the future you have miscarriages and don't get another chance.
Could you cope with that? What might that do to you if you can't? (Depression/breakdown/anxiety/all the losses listed above pretty much,).
There's only one big difference. In the first worst case scenario, you have another child. Which in some ways and to some people is a giant positive.
In the second, you don't have another child. Which can be a source of immense grief and regret. But may not be.
You know yourself. If you don't agree with termination, it's more likely to be a rough ride. But you may be able to have more babies fine.
That's the hard bit - the gamble. I'm really sorry you're going through this and please pm me if you want xx