Help me please, feeling so low.

[ftm45]

Hello, I'm not sure this is even the right place or if I'll get much advice but I am pregnant about 8 weeks I have a 7 month old. My dh and I aren't in a good place at all, and I'm absolutely terrified, I don't want 2 children so close in age, I don't think my mental health would cope. I just want to focus on my existing child. Has anyone here had an abortion, and come regret it. Or has it been the right choice? Please help...

Hopeful bump, booked for Tuesday and would love someone to talk to with some experience

Hey sorry to hear you're having a miserable time with everything. I had a termination a few years ago. I do regret it some days and have a lot of guilt still but I know deep down it was the right choice. I am a single parent and my child's father has never been around and wouldn't of been there for the other 1 either and I know I wouldn't be in the place I am right now mental health wise and living wise if I had to bring up 2 kids alone. Yes I have guilt days where I have a cry to myself but I know it was for the best. You need to do what's best for you. What does your partner think about it all?
I honestly know how you feel and big hugs to you x

@lis02 thank you for replying. My partner is supportive either way. We already have a 7 month old who still wakes 2 hourly through the night. I'm exhausted already and have nothing else to give. I feel like this is the right decision but I just feel so awful. Thank you for replying and giving your experience x

I completely understand. If at any point you'd like to chat just give me a message and I'm happy to try and help. Thinking of you x

Hi @ftm45 sorry you're in this situation. I had an abortion at around your stage three months ago. I found it very hard at first, cried a lot. I feel much better in general now, probably only think about it once a day briefly, only feel upset if I see babies occasionally. I have 2dc with exh and was accidentally pregnant with a new boyfriend. He dumped me shortly after the abortion, as I expected, so that reinforced me having made the 'right' decision.

I know it is really hard either way, sadly ime whichever decision you make could be very hard. My only advice would be to think very carefully, how will you feel in 1, 2, 5 years with each decision? My only regret is I wish I had felt I could keep the pregnancy, but I didnt.

@WaterfallsOver thank you for the reply. Realistically I wouldn't be able to cope, my son is bf and still waking 2 hourly, I'm exhausted and couldn't cope with another. My dh and I have been through a real rough patch and I honestly think this would be breaking point for us. But it still is so hard, I feel extremely sad, but feel like this is the right decision so to speak. Still doesn't make it any easier though.

@ftm45 it sounds like you may be a bit more sure in your decision, which is good. The counsellor from the clinic advised me to write down my reasons and feelings before the abortion, so i would have something to refer to if i felt 'regret' after. I hope it goes ok equally if you decide you want more time etc please feel free to postpone, the clinic should be helpful (mine was, but I decided to go ahead).

@WaterfallsOver thank you, I do feel sure. But I'm still so sad about the situation. Worried about how I'll cope with my decision emotionally.

@ftm45 I know it is really hard I do feel much better now, but it hasn't been easy. Have you had any counselling from your clinic? Marie Stopes gave me a couple of telephone counselling sessions before the termination and then upto six after. I did about four after, one every week or two. I found it helped a lot as no one in real life could relate very well.