My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Help, single and pregnant 😥

2 replies

XApril94 · 26/08/2019 16:28

Hi, I apologise in advance as this is going to be a long one. I’m 25 in a few weeks btw and the father is 23.

I took several pregnancy tests on Saturday/Sunday and I am 2-3 weeks pregnant according to the clear blue test.
I’m single. I was ‘seeing’ someone for over a month and thought we were on the right track of a relationship but he ghosted me after he told me he had feelings for me and I never heard from him for a week. Fast forward to yesterday when I message him to tell him that I’m pregnant and his reaction was exactly how I expected. At first he was defensive saying he wanted a DNA test and saying I lied to him about being on the pill, since then he has sent more messages telling me doesn’t think it’s the right thing to do to have this baby and I need to think about how this will change both our lives forever. He said he doesn’t want me to have the child but he will not disappear and have nothing to do with the child if I decide to keep it because he was raised without a father and wouldn’t want to make the same mistake, but I don’t trust him at all, he has ghosted me and disappeared twice from my life on two occasions (one 4/5 years ago) how do I know he won’t do the same with this child? I am really struggling to make a decision, i know that emotionally I will seriously struggle to have an abortion I think it may completely ruin me. But I’m terrified of having a baby right now and most likely having to do it on my own. How do I ever come to a decision? Because I keep going back and forth and my mind is all over the place 😥 i told my boss today I needed to go home to think things through because this is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make and she wasn’t the most understanding person. She basically told me I will struggle financially and it’s going to be very hard for me, which I know is true but I think I would be ok. I don’t know how to make this decision because I know whichever decision I make is permanent. 😥

OP posts:
Report
AnotherEmma · 26/08/2019 16:33

You can get specialist counselling for this situation, ask your GP or contact BPAS or Marie Stopes directly. A counsellor would be a good person to talk to as they are impartial and professional and will help you to make your own decision. Because it does have to be your decision, not influenced by the father (other than by the fact that he is unlikely to be in the picture) and certainly not by your boss.

If you are considering continuing the pregnancy perhaps you could think about whether your home is suitable for a baby/child, whether you have nearby family who would be willing and able to help out, and how you will work out finances (ie maternity pay and whether you would be entitled to any benefits).

If you decide to terminate the pregnancy that is an equally valid choice and there is no shame in it.

Good luck with your decision.

Report
lottelupin · 09/10/2019 00:10

Hope you're doing ok, XAngel 💐

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.