I’ve messed up.

[Worrywart21]

I’m pregnant. I’ve messed up so badly. I had my coil removed last week and the nurse asked me if I had sex within 7 days as there was a risk of pregnancy. I said I did but 5 days ago and I was confident my ovulation date had passed. I had pain and bleeding with the coil and they were investigating why I was bleeding. I worried I had cervical cancer.

As soon as the coil was out the bleeding stopped. I had it for 2.5 years and finally got worried about the constant spotting and pain during sex. I had it removed and we have only had sex once with a condom since.

And I’m pregnant.

I already have 2 aged 3 and 7 and I was done. The second almost done me in.

And guess what I am getting married in 9 months. 2 weeks after my due date. Spent so much money and just picked my dream wedding dress. Working out every week eating healthy feel amazing and back to me.

I’m an idiot. How do I tell my fiancé.

Sweetheart, YOU haven't messed up, unless you became pregnant intentionally. Please don't beat yourself up.

I suggest a calm, sat down talk, explain, discuss your options.

I just feel so responsible as I thought I was passed the risk stage when removing the coil. I’m in shock.

My first pregnancy wasn’t planned but as soon as I seen the line I feel happy.

The second was planned. This I just cried and cried and now need to act ok in front of family.

Thanks for responding I need someone to help. Thank you.

Ok don’t panic yet, give yourself a minute to absorb the news. Talk to your dp and see how he feels. It’s going to be a bit of a shock for a while. Plans like weddings and things can always be adjusted so I wouldn’t worry about that just yet. First thing to do is figure out what you want to do and how you feel about things, hopefully your dp is supportive of you and go from there.

Thanks I’ve literally just found out.

I feel like such a rubbish mum and partner. I struggle to divide myself as it is.

If the wedding wasn’t book and planned and everyone looking so forward to it I think I could deal with it. I’m just devastated honestly.

We’d planned our honeymoon alone to Dubai then a family holiday to Orlando. That’s all gone now & we had planned to move house after the wedding . I know that’s so selfish but why!!!! Why did I ever risk it. Our life has been a struggle and we are finally happy and able to relax.

I could cry.

I know that’s all quite selfish and short term and deep down I know I’ll come round and we can create new plans but I’m just so upset right now.

Spoke to partner this morning.

He seems ok. He hinted at termination but whilst I know it would be ideal but I can’t bring myself to do it although it’s strange as with my first pregnancy it wasn’t planned but I instantly felt attached to the baby.

This time I can’t even think about the baby. It’s not real and I don’t believe it. I’m in shock I think.

It sounds like you really are in shock OP, but don’t be hard on yourself. You need some time to let it all sink in properly and then look into things more closely, solutions may not be as difficult as you’re foreseeing them (see what you can do about cancelling/ rearranging your wedding/ holidays - moving house a bit later/earlier than planned.) I hope things fall into place for you.

Thanks you’re very kind.

My OH has been amazing. I can’t believe how chilled he is. He’s emailed the wedding venue to postpone until the following year and he’s looking into options to move house this year.

Whilst I was ready to curl into a ball and cry all day I suddenly feel more optimistic. He’s really surprised me

We have just came back from the Caribbean which carries a risk of Zika virus and birth defects. I am not sure what the procedure is with pregnancies in this situation as we were advised not to travel if pregnant and not to fall pregnant within 3 months of return (general advice to everyone).

Should I make a doctors appointment.

Hi OP,

Yes definitely make a doctors appointment and explain the recently holiday to a Zika destination.

How lovely for you that your OH is supportive - everything happens for a reason and will be what you make of it