Sorry this is going to be long and detailed. 2 and a half weeks ago I found out I was pregnant, It was a complete shock and the past few weeks have been a difficult emotional roller coaster for me. I turned to many of these forums for experiences and stories of abortion to ease my mind. I thought it might be helpful to talk about my experience so far for anyone else who might be struggling or want to know a bit more about what they should expect.
First of all I am absolutely pro choice and believe all women should get the chance to take control over our own bodies. I understand that others do not feel the same way however this is just my experience and my belief.
I have been with my partner for 5 years and we live together and both have careers. We have talked about children and both know we want to have them one day however this was always something we imagined doing when we are closer to 30 (I am currently 25 years old). After years of being on the pill I decided to come off and use natural cycles and condoms after struggling with depression caused by the pill. We felt that this was best for us and for a year and a half this has worked well and we have never had any scares. Unfortunately we did suspect a broken condom.t. Unfortunately this meant that we did conceive and after being a week late I discovered I was pregnant.
I couldn't believe it. I always thought if it happened then we would deal with it and have the child however I instantly knew that this didn't feel right. I felt in no way ready to bring a child into this world. At the beginning of my career I don't quite feel ready to give it up just yet. We discussed it at length and whilst my partner expressed that he also felt we weren't ready that he would also be supportive if I did decide to keep the child. If I am 100% honest it was an easy decision to make. I could not imagine myself with a child at this stage in my life and I want to be 100% committed and ready when the time does come.
We decided that it would be best to book for an abortion as soon as possible (I know at this point i was around 5 weeks or less and did not want to terminate the pregnancy too late). I phoned my local sexual health clinic who were able to book me in for the next week. I was told on the phone the appointment would be 2 hours long and I would likely be able to begin the process on this date. The time between booking the appointment and the appointment the next week was very tough and emotional for me with lots of tears.
The appointment arrived (On Wednesday the 17th). I was told to fill in a few forms asking for personal details along with questions about my sexual history, drinking, medical history etc. I was then taken through by a nurse at first to have a scan. I was told to undress from the waist down and was given a tissue to cover my bottom half. I had to lie down to the edge of the bed with my feet in stirrups. At first the nurse took a STI swab which she said she does with all patients. She then inserted the device which was to scan to see the pregnancy. This wasn't sore, just felt some pressure and was a little strange with the cold gel used to insert it. She quickly did the scan and asked if I wanted to know how far along I was. I said yes and she said I was around 5/6 weeks which was as I expected. She did not show me the screen nor did she ask if i wanted to see it. I was then able to get dressed and go back to the waiting area. I was seen by a doctor after around 25 minutes of waiting. The doctor asked me a lot of questions about my medical history and contraception, why I wished to terminate the pregnancy etc. She was not judgy and was quick at asking. She did not press on any answers. She also checked I wasn't being pressured into the decision by anyone. She then talked about some methods of contraception that I might wish to consider in the future. I took a leaflet however decided I would need to think about this and see what might be best for me.
I was then told to sign some forms and had to go back to the waiting room. After around 5/10 minutes I was seen by the same nurse who conducted by scan. She gave me the first pill to take to end the pregnancy. She asked if I was sure and I then swallowed it with water. She then talked me through the rest and gave me a bag home with me and instructions etc. She was very informative. I then had to wait to get my blood taken which I was dreading after issues in the past. The nurse tried veins in both arms and was unable to get blood, this was pretty traumatic and the worst part of the appointment. She then got from my hand however as soon as blood came out I felt very sick and almost fainted, I came out in a cold sweat and it was horrific. As the blood took ages to come out it took a long time until the needle could come out. This was very traumatic and meant she could not get any further tests so she just took the one which was to determine my blood group. I was then able to leave and go home.
I had called in sick to work so took the rest of the week off. I spent the next day and a half cleaning and keeping busy. I had some very light spotting and cramps however this was it. On the Thursday I received a phone call from the nurse saying I had to come in for an anti d injection as I have negative blood. You could find out more info about this online however this is crucial for any abortions or pregnancies where the Woman has negative blood.
I booked to come in on the Friday morning at 8:30am. The injection itself was very painful and my shoulder still ached for about 4 days after however it was not as bad as the blood test.
I then went home and took 600mg of long lasting ibuprofen and ate a ginger biscuit to keep sickness at bay (I did not have morning sickness however I was concerned after reading stories on here that the abortion might make me sick)
I then inserted the 4 tablets to begin the contractions around 15 minutes later. I inserted these myself (I was told to do this to reduce nausea). I inserted them at 9am and lay on the sofa for half an hour. I was also advised after this to keep moving as this can help things happen quickly. I also took 1 codeine at this point in case of cramps. I stood up after the half hour and I was mobile for around 2 hours 40 minutes. I had the tv on and my partner was talking to me to keep my occupied. I was just pacing around the living room. For this entire time (2 hours and 40 minutes) I felt some cramps however nothing severe at all. I get very bad period cramps and it was much like this. I believe the codeine and ibuprofen probably kept them at bay tbh and it was not at all severe. I also took a paracetamol around 2 hours after the 4 abortion pills as I wanted to have as little pain as possible. For this time I was not sick nor did i have any diarrhoea. Just some normal cramps. I had also been to the toilet a few times and didn't have any blood.
At around 2 hours 40 minutes in (11:40am) I decided to go to the bathroom again to check my pad, I had started to bleed so took this as a good sign, pretty much as soon as I sat on the toilet, without any pushing or anything I felt something slide out and land in the toilet. I know this is TMI but I wanted to be sure what it was so I fished it out and put it on some toilet paper. I discovered something that was very small, around the size of a 10p coin or less. It was pink, flesh and jelly like. From having a look online I discovered that this was likely the pregnancy. I was very shocked that it has happened so quickly and just as i had started to bleed. The lack of pain also shocked me I have actually had period pain worse than how I felt although I think all the painkillers sorted me out.
It wasn't difficult to look at the sac as the pregnancy was inside and unrecognisable as anything. At this stage it would have only been the size of a lentil/ pea so not big enough to see really. I much preferred looking so that I could see what has passed and understand what was happening. I honestly felt very relieved knowing it had passed.
I had some cramps over the rest of the day but nothing too bad, painkillers masked most of it. I had a hot water bottle on my tummy all day which helped and I sat cross legged rocking from side to side. Honestly it just felt like a period. I was bleeding however it wasn't soaking through pads or anything. I went to the toilet regularly and found that when sitting loads of blood would come out, usually thick clot like blood. No large clots the size of plums etc that many others mentioned. Just period blood however thicker and more of it. Some small clots throughout.
I am now 6 days on and the bleeding was consistent for around 4/5 days and has slowed down a lot now and is pretty light. Still having lower back pain and cramps but again nothing excruciating or severe. Painkillers are keeping it at bay. I am back to work now (I went back on the Monday) and will add that I was able to go out on the Saturday (The day after) and shop etc so I really was okay. I still feel quite relieved and know it was the right decision to make. I know I will probably feel quite emotional soon as the hormones go funny. I felt a little emotional last night but nothing too bad. My tender boobs aren't as bad as they were however still a little sore to touch. I think this will take some time to go. It's still early days.
Honestly the worst part of the experience was depression having found out. I was very depressed and unable to find joy in anything. I was very scared about the appointment however apart from the horrid blood test the rest of the appointment was completely fine. The actual process too was really not that bad. NOTHING like I expected. Just make sure you have plenty pain killers, water, sports juice and ginger biscuits. I would also eat something carby before taking the tablets. ( I had toast in the morning). I was able to eat normally throughout and stuck to simple plain foods.
I have yet to find out fully if it has worked (I have to take a test they gave me exactly 2 weeks after however I will be on holiday then so hoping for the right result as I won't be able to do anything about it for a week. Hoping the blood will calm down in time for my holiday next week. (This will be 2 weeks after the tablets so I have my fingers crossed). I am currently on antibiotics also to prevent infection so had had head aches from those however that's to be expected.
I really hope this helps someone out there who is scared. Just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is nothing wrong with the decision you are making. As long as it feels right to you. Happy to answer any other questions anyone has. I will also update on here if anything happens (I.e. Failed test) however I am hopeful that it has worked due to what I seen pass. Thanks for reading!