Mum is a midwife

[Anonforme]

Hi everyone, I have read so many threads looking for advice on here and have changed my name for anon reasons.

I'm 30 and really struggling with my situation. I thought I was coming down with something last week and finally on friday morning it clicked, I took two tests after lunch and both instantly showed pregnant. I told DP of a decade when he got home, he was shocked and I cried. Im on the pill and haven't had a period for a couple of years now. We live together but both discussed that we want to pay off loans and credit cards and buy a house before we TTC. I feel selfish that I am considering terminating a potentially healthy baby because it's just come too early.
Additionally I am adamant I want no one else to know. I really need help calculating how many weeks I am as I have no periods but my mum is a local midwife and I'm terrified my name will appear somewhere she can see it or word might get out somehow, however innocently! I need help and advice but I dont know who I can safely talk to, my family shares the same drs surgery also.

BPAS is confidential and they would only tell your GP with your permission. They will do a dating scan. Sorry you are going through this. It is hard. Paying off debts and buying a house before having children is responsible though! Good luck with whatever you choose, and try not to feel guilt. No birth control is 100%

I went through BPAS, they were brilliant and only tell your GP if you give permission.
Your mum doesn’t have to know if you don’t want her to, but it definitely does help to have someone to talk to about it.
BPAS will do a scan which will tell you how far along you are. They won’t show you the screen if you don’t want to see.

It’s your body and your choice. If you don’t feel ready there is no shame in that. You have to do what feels right for you.

Thank you so much for your kind replies, I have now made my consultation appt with BPAS. I'm a bit nervous about knowing how far along I am but I'm not alone I have support of DP who has been brilliant.

I think they can give you the choice about knowing how many weeks you are depending on how far along you are. Obviously the process changes depending on how many weeks you are. One thing that threw me was they needed to ask me to do a chlamydia test and also the scan was a vaginal one, which was ok but a bit off putting when you’re not expecting it!
They were very kind with me and you have lots of opportunities to change your mind without judgement if you want to.

Lots of luck.