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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Abortion advice

15 replies

R0W4N · 08/07/2019 15:25

I'm wanting to look into having an abortion sometime soon. I've never had one before, and with so much conflicting info out there, it's very overwhelming and confusing. Undecided what I'm going to do right now, just hoping for some guidance and good advice from people here before making a decision.

Thanks in advance

-Rowan

OP posts:

Prettylittlebumblebee · 08/07/2019 16:03

Didn't want to read and run, but you're the only one who knows the answer to that one honey. If you're having doubts, then you need to ask yourself why. It's a big decision to make and you want to know you're making the right decision. Have you spoke to your mum or someone who could give you a lean on?

Apples1998 · 08/07/2019 16:07

A few questions

Are you Ready for the responsibility of a child?
Is this really what you want to do?
Are you doing to for you or someone else?
Do you believe you’re ready?
Can you give the child a good life?
Think long and hard about your reasons for and against. Once the decision has been made you can’t take it back. If it’s not what you want to do it’ll eat you up inside.

I had an abortion 18 months ago. At the time I believed it was for the best as my partner didn’t want a child. he believed it would ruin us life and he wouldn’t love it the way he should.

At the start I felt okay with it but as time went on I was guile’s with grief and regret. I now desperately want a baby but he’s still not ready and it hurts a lot

Original poster

R0W4N · 08/07/2019 16:32

@Prettylittlebumblebee my mum died years ago, so no unfortunately I can't speak with her.

@Apples1998 I have 4 kids already, so parenting is something I've been doing for a while. If I go through with it, it will be for myself.

Having never had an abrtion before, I'm interested to know more about how to go about getting one, and what it involves. Are there different methods of aborting the foetus etc.

OP posts:

Bobbi31 · 08/07/2019 16:35

There's an area in the Body and Soul category that might be a better place to post this.

MNHQ

AnyaMumsnet · 08/07/2019 16:45

Hi there OP,

We hope you don't mind, we're going to move this thread to pregnancy choices now

Apples1998 · 08/07/2019 16:54

It depends on how far along you are.
If I remember correctly under 9 weeks there is a pill you take that cause a miscarriage and 10+ weeks is an operation where they remove the baby.

I called the doctors and told them what I was looking at doing and they directed me to the closest facility.

I had to go for a scan so they could tell me what kind of abortion I needed and to check things like my mental state and a few other things to make sure everything was okay. Then they booked me in for an appointment.

I was 12 weeks when I got my abortion so I had to have the op. It probably took 1-2 hours for the whole process.

They give you a pill to soften up your cervix which takes like 30 minutes to kick in. Not going to lie it taste horrible and is like chalk. I had some cramps that were quite painful that made me be sick. After that they take you to get you set up for the op. I was awake for it but they give you some drugs that make you high as a kite so you can’t really feel anything. There is some ricks involved that they will tell you about but the chances of anything going wrong a slim. They take you in and I had a few nurses and a doctor. One nurse was pretty much there just to talk to me and make sure I was okay. It’s a pretty quick op. After that I was kept in for maybe another 30ish minutes to make sure everything was good. They give you some antibiotics and send you on your way. They advised you can’t be on your own for 24 hours after. You can’t work or anything. You’re not allowed to drive and can’t use public transport. I’m not going to lie I was in a lot of physical pain for about a week after.

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 08/07/2019 16:56

If you are in the UK, I believe you can access abortion services from both Marie Stopes and BPAS. Depending on where you live will depend whether you have the choice of both.

There are two types of abortions available depending on how many weeks pregnant you are;

medical (I think this goes up to 9 weeks)
surgical

Medical involves taking two pills a day or so apart and you essentially miscarriage the foetus - how you react to it will depend on how far along you are. Surgical can be either under conscious sedation (awake but not aware if you see what I mean), local anaesthetic or general anaesthetic. The foetus is removed from you. Some people prefer this method because the medical procedure can result in retained product of the pregnancy. Both procedures I believe will require a scan of the foetus to check gestation but you don't have to view this.

I had an abortion many years ago and had a surgical procedure believing it would be better, but I was in a lot of pain afterwards and bled for many weeks.

Those are the practical elements. Emotionally, if you feel this is the right decision for you then go for it. If you are unsure, I believe both clinics provide counselling and I accessed this when I was having my abortion - they were very kind and non judgemental.

It's not a nice decision to make but things you need to consider is whether you will emotionally feel regret or guilt. I did, and whilst it was the best decision at the time I did struggle with it afterwards.

Original poster

R0W4N · 08/07/2019 22:27

Thanks, that's all useful to know. Glad they are not judgemental. The foetus is a bit more than 9 weeks, so it would be surgical. Do. You know if there are different surgical methods available, or just one? Would be interested to know what they actually do. I do worry a bit about going as Ive heard some people camp outside abortion centres and hurl abuse at people going in and out.

OP posts:

Apples1998 · 08/07/2019 22:41

There was no one anywhere near where I went. The place from the outside just looked like a really big house. The doors are locked and you have to buzz in and out. Are you from the uk or? I don’t hear much about that kind of thing happening over hear that’s all. I imagine it happens but I’ve never heard of it.

As for the operation, as far as I know there is only one kind. They use a medical tool that if I remover correctly cuts the fetus up and they uses a suction tube to take it out. They did talk me though t before hand but it was a very quick conversation so I don’t remember what the tools where called I just remember how the simplified it for me

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 13/07/2019 11:43

@R0W4N there was nobody camped out when I went. I don't think it's as common in the UK as it is in other parts of the world, so please don't let that be a part of swaying your decision if that's how you want to go.

There isn't any specific alternative method of surgical removal of a foetus, but you have several options in regards to how you want it performed - GA, conscious sedation or local anaesthetic.

NikolaPiccola · 13/07/2019 14:42

How far along are you? If you're still early on then the abortion is quite simple, normally they give you a tablet that stops the pregnancy and your body disposes of it with a period. Only you know what is best for you. Good luck x

Kleeeniks · 13/07/2019 15:12

abortion is not the escape...

Alarae · 13/07/2019 15:25

I had one at Marie Stopes and it was fine. There was someone standing nearby with posters, but I believe they have to be a certain distance away so they shouldn't directly bother you.

Not sure how far along I was, however I opted for surgical management under general. Just before I was taken up I had to have a blood prick (for reasus(?)) and they do scan you, however mine asked if I wanted to know details and I said no.

Procedure itself was fine and they wheel you to a recovery room nearby to snap out of GA. After you've managed to go to the loo and confirm there is no blood, they let you go.

The whole process was quick, painless and for lack of a better word, easy. I was treated wonderfully and with respect at all times, and never once was my choice doubted.

LittleMermaid1 · 13/07/2019 19:19

OP I suggest you read the Marie Stopes website, they have a lot of information about the abortion process and assuming you're in the UK they have a 24 hour phone number you can call the book the procedure (of course you can change your mind anytime before the termination).

I would suggest you think about the questions pp have given, do you feel able to have another child etc.

I had an abortion, it wasnt a fun experience but it was the right thing for me in my circumstances.

autumnleaves25 · 14/07/2019 03:13

I had mine at 10 weeks, they do it by vacuum aspiration, they open your vagina with a tool, like they do for smear test, then if you choose local anaesthetic they give you an injection and then place a thin tube in. not sure what PP meant by "cutting the baby", to be honest, later in pregnancy they would give the baby an injection to stop their heartbeat and induce labour. But that's the case for late-term terminations. Best of luck OP, I am very much pro-choice still, but I do hope you are 100% sure

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