What would you tell your best friend if she's undecided about having an abortion?

[Askingforafriend123]

My very best friend of almost 20 years is pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. She's been on and off with her boyfriend for the past 15 years, this happened just a couple of months into giving their relationship another try. She thinks it's not the right time and she feels like she didn't decide to be a mother right this moment. I had an unplanned pregnancy 9 years ago but I kept my baby, even now every now and then I feel bad about even thinking to have an abortion. She's 34, owns her own house and business so many isn't a problem. She's also worried she might regret for the rest of her life and definitely wants to be a mother one day

Hi, this might be a bit late, but as someone whose best friend was very pushy about me having an abortion (and no, I dont blame her), and also having regretted it, more than anything, I'd say tell her to get some counselling, because there's no right or wrong decision, for some, going ahead with the termination is the right decision, for some it isn't. And counsellors know what to say, they aren't biased.

Yes I agree with seeing a counsellor, however some most certainly are biased, so choose with care. There are a lot of Christian based groups who offer pregnancy counselling or whatever they call it, say they are unbiased, but obviously they don't believe in abortion.

She needs to do what is right for her - tbh it sounds like she wants to have one. Its really hard but you need to keep your personal experience separate from this, she isn't you. An abortion wasn't right for you, but it may be for her. Plenty of women have them and never regret them - myself being one.

I've been where you are. I just kept being the sounding board. Didn't really give my opinion but supported her as she went through her decisions.

Would the father be any good at being a father? If she wants kids one day she may as well have it or she might not get another chance.

Here's an update. She's still undecided and she changes her mind almost every day at least twice. She even accepts her boyfriend most likely won't stick around with or without the baby but she still wants to give "them" a chance. She's been to see her usual counsellor at least twice and I don't know if she's biased or not, but she usually comes out more convinced that she should keep the baby. I've told her to that maybe finding a perinatal counsellor would be her best bet. The truth is that her boyfriend will definitely leave her one day and she would have only wasted her time.