How do you actually make the decision?

[Fannyfanakerpants]

I've just found out I'm about 7 weeks with no.4. We have nothing to blame but ourselves (and a large quantity of gin one evening)
I know that I can't have another baby. I'm not working. Money would be an issue. My dh is trying to change career. We live in a tiny 3 bed with no prospect of moving whilst I'm not working and I love my house. I think 4 young children would tip me over the edge. The list goes on..
I've booked an abortion for next week but I still keep going round in circles with what ifs and the thought of terminating makes me feel so sick. I've spent the whole day just reminding myself to actually breathe.
I need to make peace in my head with my decision and just do it as it the best thing for our family at this current time but I don't know how to do that.

Hi OP sorry you're having such a tough time. I had some counselling with Marie Stopes and for me the question ended up being 'which is the least worse option'. I too would have loved to keep the baby but my circumstances made it really hard, so I terminated in the end. It hasn't been easy but hopefully one day I will feel ok with the decision.

Huge hug from me. I can only imagine how you feel. I have 3 DC and have a huge fear of falling pregnant because I would love a fourth in the future but our current circumstances for at least the next few years would just not permit it for most of your reasons.

Can you get some time to yourself to just have a bath/tea/read a book/have a walk? Sometimes the noise of family life doesn't help and is too overwhelming, especially in situations such as this.

For the reasons you say I think a termination probably is the right thing. However if you wanted to keep it then I'm sure many people make it work, but would you really want to stretch yourself that far.

I think you're right, that you need to make peace with it. In your shoes I think I'd need to do it on autopilot, just follow the next step until it was done. I do think some counselling would be good though. Also to keep thinking about what you do have and how having a fourth would be harder and your lack of capacity for it. IF course that is your final decision.

If you're still going round in circles then perhaps a list of short and long term problems to help you really think it all through.